Happy Birthday to Me

Yes it is my Birthday and I thought I'd throw down a couple quick thoughts -

* What do you give the man who has everything? It starts with a b.

*It's just another magical day in a lifetime of insignificance.

*Closer and closer to perfection, further and further from anyone who gives a crap.

*If you're anything like me, you should be ashamed of yourself.

*Being born so close to the savior is a responsibility that I've taken seriously enough to delegate to others.

*Now that it's my Birthday and the Christmas season I want to take this opportunity to state once and for all that I have never used humor enhancement substances during my career as the Boneman. I have, however, taken a shitload of steroids.

*It's always better to give than recieve - particulary when you're talking about genital herpes.

*If you want to have a memorable Christmas morning. Wait until your wife hands you that one gift that you can tell means the most to her. After opening it up you become very excited and then suddenly grasp your chest, make a pained face and couple strangled grunts then keel over on the floor.

*Or if you want a similar experience, give her a diet book and a series of workout videos.

*Remember it's not the thought that counts, it's the motion of the notion.

This is what happens when you sit down with absolutely nothing to say and say it anyway. Merry Christmas to all from me and Adam, Dave, Kyle, Tyler, Tyson, the other Adam, and of course the fine ladies of the Bone - Victoria, Phyllis, Judy and Maddy.