Miami Christ

And you will know him by his number 666, and by his killer tan.

If you haven't heard Christ has returned, or is he the antichrist – he goes by both but his surprisingly sizeable following refer to him affectionately as Daddy. Jose Luis De Jesus Miranda is quite the interesting fellow. Born amid the squalor of poverty in Puerto Rico, Jose claims to have also been a Heroin addict until he received a next day air document wherein it was explained to him that he was actually Jesus and/or the antichrist (whichever goes over the best) and in the 20 years since that UPS revelation he has amassed a large following in over 30 countries and has established his permanent ministry in Miami.

Before he received word that he was Christ incarnate, he already had a huge 666 tattoo on his forearm. A seeming contradiction that Jose spins like this: Since I am not the same person as the original Jesus of Nazareth, technically that makes me an anti-christ, comprende? Evidently that's a good enough explanation for his followers whom are showing their allegiance by getting 666 tattoos themselves. How Biblical can you get? Probably the biggest reason for Jose's success is his laise faire doctrine. According to Jose, there is no such thing as sin. Since the original Jesus atoned for our sins, sinning is a thing of the past. Not only is sin impossible, but he claims the very concept of sin is an offense to God, (oh yea - he also claims to be God). One of the major Network news programs (Nightline or 20/20) ran a big feature on Jose and during the interview Jose was questioned about his doctrine of "no sin." Moderator: So what about Murder is that a sin? Jose: No, it's a crime. Mod: Stealing? Jose: Crime. Mod: What about adultery? Jose: Cardio. At least the way I do it, Bro (laughs diabolically).

Obviously a lot of people have got their hackle up, and are pointing to the many parallels between Jose and the Bible, the 666, the false doctrine, etc. Could Jose be the real McCoy – the son of satan whom Christians the world over have been watching for ever since they saw "The Omen?" The Boneman says don't sweat this guy. Jose is just using the Bible as a script, He saw an opportunity to cash in on the "last day predictions" and there for a while it looked like he might get away with it. Alas, if you read the most recent stories regarding Jose, it turns out that he's broke. A combination of paying his 2nd wife a million and a half per year in alimony and his extravagant lifestyle have left Daddy pretty damned destitute. And the icing on the cake is that the IRS announced today that they will be auditing his income tax reports for the past 3 years. Even his most generous financial supporters are likely to fade into the scenery with the IRS coming to town. My advice to his fervent followers is simple – hold off on the tattoo and for now just get the T-Shirt. They come off so much easier.