Tyson Cantrell vs. Mel Gibson

When you look more like Robert Downey Jr. than yourselves there's a pretty good chance you're taking something besides Alcohol.

Readers of the site are already very well familiar with our resident smart ass (and music guru) Tyson Cantrell. You may have noticed that he hasn't exactly been writing a ton lately. No, we haven't sent this legendary genius packing. Actually, Mr. Cantrell has been caught up in this whole Mel Gibson story. Now Tyson really doesn't have any fervent opinions about Jews nor is he concerned about any sort of Zionist agenda but the linguistically challenged one does have some very strong opinions about alcohol comsumption. After Mel Gibson used the fact that he had a .12 alcohol level (legally impaired in Utah) as an excuse for his world-rankling, anti-Semitic tirade. Thus to investigate just what level of intoxication would be necesary to cause someone to go off on an irrational/insane wig-flip in the presence of a number of police officers, Tyson decided to use himself as a guinnae pig. Thus in the interest of political science he threw himself off a house (falling two stories to the hard-baked earth below.

During his period of hopitalization, Tyson's investigative findings were that to reach this level of intoxication (which he did in the hospital when he wandered the halls butt-naked, demanding Gummy Bears and a prostitute) it came after 50 mgs of demerol, following an undisclosed amount of Morphine. Thus it is our belief (based on the photographs of Mel draped all over strange women) that Mel Gibson was not only under the influence of .12 blood alcohol level, but 50 mgs of demerol and an unknown amount of morphine. Nice work Tyson.

To be serious just for a moment (which is something Tyson is adamantly opposed to) Tyson really did suffer serious internal injuries after a major fall from a structure he was working on. I was just on the phone with him, and thankfully, despite some pretty hardcore injuries, he's doing alright. As for the specifics of the accident, I'll let him fill you in. He's throwing a descriptive piece together and we'll have it up shortly. In the meantime, we at Zboneman.com want to wish him a speedy recovery.