Cruise Castaway Count Claus

Reacting to tabloid reports of his sexual preference, Cruise simulates a vagina with his hands and smiles lustily.

The news Tom Cruise is to play a German aristocrat who tried to kill Adolf Hitler has angered the Second World War hero's oldest son. Berthold Von Stauffenberg is furious Cruise will portray his dad Count Claus Schenk Von Stauffenberg, who unsuccessfully attempted to blow up Hitler in 1944, in upcoming movie Valkyrie.

"I am not saying that Cruise is a bad actor - I cannot judge that. But, in any case, I fear that it could turn into horrible kitsch. It's well known that he swings both ways and He should keep his hands off my father. He should climb a brokeback mountain or go surfing in the Caribbean. I don't care, as long as he stays out of it."

Reporters speculate there hasn't been this strong of a casting reaction since Albert Einstein's daughter objected to the casting of Carrot Top.