Hairy Blotter

Where we goin first? Hermionie's Goblets of Fire? or Hermione's Chamber or Secrets?"

One of America's leading skin doctors fears the young cast of the Harry Potter films has done teenagers the world over a huge disservice by seeming to have bypassed puberty on the big screen. Dr. Vail Reese has blasted the brains behind the Potter films for digitally altering the appearances of Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint rather than let their characters offer hope to spotty teens.

He fumes, "It would have been much cheaper to offer the stars acne treatment before their outbreaks but they went and used a computer to clear things up. I'd love to be able to show my young patients footage from the films as a way of proving almost everyone suffers from acne, but if you're an international celebrity you get laid no matter what kind of pizza-face you're got."