Lush Lush Sweet Harlot

Last Comic Standing

It's being revealed that Anna Nicole Smith's son Daniel's autopsy shows he had up to 7 different drugs in his system at his time of death, with three of them causing a lethal combination. It's also being revealed that he had eight times the lethal dose of the drugs in his system, which means he was either really bad at following his prescription or we've got another mystery on our hands.

And if that weren't bad enough, Anna Nicole Smith is being accused of dyeing her daughter's hair to make it look like Howard K. Stern is the father. Both Anna Nicole and Larry Birkhead have naturally blonde hair while Stern is naturally black. An attorney for Birkhead says:

"It's horrendous," Opri said. "We are calling our experts right now to see if dyeing an infant's hair is any way toxic or harmful to a child."
As if it weren't already clear enough, Anna Nicole Smith is the worst mother in the world if this is true. She's basically kidnapping a child and trying to hide it by changing its appearance. She might as well tape on a mustache and be like, "I dunno, Larry. You don't have a mustache and my kid does. So...I'm pretty sure she's not yours."