Mel-t Down in Malibu

"Everybody stand back while I put this puppy out."

The tragic Malibu fire is believed to have been sparked by a joyriding Mel Gibson whom when he passed a cop by the roadside jettisoned a bottle of Jack Daniels along with the joint he'd been smoking effectively causing what is being called a Mel-atoff cocktail resulting in an explosion that has been fanned by the raging Santa Anas into one of the worst fires in the exclusive celebrity retreats history. Fortunately Mel made it home before he could be apprehended, whereupon he dashed into his house and jumped into bed with all his clothes on.