No Slowin' 4 Lohan

What really has the experts puzzled is that Lohan never appeared on Different Strokes?

Looks like the Mean Girl had herself another Freaky Friday falling into an apparent trap set by a cop who was chased off the sidewalk by the former Disney star. At the time of the accident, Lohan was chasing her friends mother and trying to run her off the road. The woman called the police and when apprehended Lohan is reported to have said

"I am innocent… did not do drugs they're not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin's mom I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy"

Tarin's mom reportedly became concerned when Lohan who'd become displeased by snorting and smoking the cocaine, violently exclaimed "this blow ain't no f***ing good" and then began smashing the powder into her face using a heated golf shoe. We here at zboneman.com are betting that Promises rehab facility who just released Lohan will not be using this photograph in their promotional brochure. We'd also like to wish everyone in Southern California luck.