Straight Spears

"Everything is just going to be freakin' peachy freakin' keen just as soon as I can get in this f--kbitch freakin' car or truck or whatever the f**k it is and drive my drunken naked ass the hell out of here - go away, go away will you just go away?"

Britney Spears, who reached a divorce settlement with aspiring rapper Kevin Federline in March, recently posted a message on her Web site saying she had been acting like a ''bad kid running around with ADD (attention deficit disorder).''

The singer filed for divorce from Federline in November, just two months after giving birth to the couple's second child, Jayden James. Their older son, Sean Preston, was born in September 2005.

''Everything is going to be good, really good, really really super awesome good, yea'' Lynne Spears tells the magazine. ''Everything is going to be really good, really good, totally fantastically good, awesome. I can see her life picking up and it's just going to hold great things for her. Great. Totally great, just totally the most awesome greatest great, there is."

''Britney Jean Spears is the sweetest and the most sensitive and loving of all my children, by far she's so sweet and loving and sensitive and compassionate and caring and friendly and honest and courteous that she makes the rest of my kids look like little meth sluts - total skanky sleazeball meth sluts. It's sad, but totally awesome too. I couldn't be prouder."