Post Post-Season Jazz Blues

A midwest Minister named Joe Wright has gotten a lot of notoriety out of a little prayer he offered before the Kansas State Senate. Paul Harvey got behind it and gave it a nice little boost--but it's really making the rounds on the E-mail circuit. There's a good chance you may have already found this little E-pistle in your in-box. It's hot stuff--Moms and sisters bouncing it back and forth--you'd think they'd been waiting all their lives to meet minister Wright?

I have to say I admire the man's spunk--he got up there in front of a bunch of "nervous Nelly" politicians and threw down the hard stuff--and it spooked Ôem. There wasn't a dry chair in the house. In fact many of them were so unnerved by the Minister's straight shooting that they fled from the room. They couldn't handle the truth, Brother, and you know why--Joe? Because the truth sucks. In our little rose-colored world of illusion and denial--the truth is nothing but a pain in the ass. It's certainly not something that goes over well in the world of politics.

A lot of what the minister had to say was right on, and some of it was just right wing--but the problem with all this truth is that there isn't much we can do about it. The whole damn world is going to hell in honey wagon and we all know it--and the truth is, life is much easier affair if we look the other way most of the time. You mow the lawn, you rent a video, you have a popsicle--that's how we get through life--screw the truth. Having said all this let me give you a little sample of the minister's prayer:
". . . We have endorsed perversion and called it "alternative lifestyle." we have exploited the poor and called it "the lottery." We have rewarded laziness and called it Ôwelfare.' We have killed our unborn and called it "choice." We have shot abortionists and called it "justifiable." We have neglected to discipline our children and called it "building self-esteem."

He goes on and it's pretty hard core stuff, but it isn't particularly funny--and since you're probably reading this because it's supposed to be funny--let me offer a little of the Boneman's doctrine:

"We have skipped Sacrament Meeting to watch a Play-off game and called it "the flu." We have taken home a roll of toilet paper from our job and called it a "perk." We have lost $390 in Mesquite and call it "breaking even." We have taken a few buddies to the Palomino Club and called it a "write off." We have glorified a sport based upon vulgar exchanges of profanity and striking our opponent over the head with folding chairs and called it "marriage." We have given a fellow motorist the finger, discovered they could easily kick our ass and called it a "close one." We have watched Monday Night Football, while our kids ran around the living room and called it "Family Home Evening." We have thrown away a bunch of junk mail and newspaper coupons that our wife has left scattered all over the damn place and called it an "accident." We have walked a mile in another man's shoes, staggered all the way back to get our own damn shoes and called in sick to work." We have opened our car door and dinged up the side of the car next to us and called it an "honest mistake." We have returned to our car to find a ding on our door and considered killing everybody. We have checked the caller ID before picking up the phone, let the machine answer it and called it right every time. We have coveted our neighbor's ass, and called him up and asked him what he's doing with a donkey in his back yard. We have watched channel 73 late at night even though it's totally scrambled and call it a day. And I, yes I have bastardized this man's words, and called it "a living." Amen I guess.