If you are among the thousands who like to read funny stuff because it causes you to laugh, surf no further. If laughter is something you value nearly as much as autoerotic asphyxiation and crack - again you've come to the right place. It's easy, the Boneman writes the funny stuff, you simply read it and as a result you begin to laugh - temporarily diverting your attention from the horror that is the human condition. ... http://zboneman.com/humor/ Thu, 11 Mar 2010 03:20:45 +0700 FeedCreator 1.7.2 http://www.zboneman.com/images/logo_opaque.png http://www.zboneman.com/ zBoneman.com. http://www.zboneman.com/humor/rss.xml http://www.zboneman.com/humor/Podium-Bling-21923.html Between the Jazz and the Olympics it's been hard to find time to get any writing done - as of press time the Jazz have won right around 20 of their last 25 games. Yet, believe me, when I consider what happened to the Tonight Show after my casual mention of Conan and Jay, I worry that any reference t... The Boneman Mon, 08 Mar 2010 12:50:46 +0700 http://www.zboneman.com/humor/Feeling-Fined-21898.html In my last column I was making a point about what a no-brainer it was to come up with Tiger Woods jokes and happened to make an off handed reference to Jay Leno and Conan. I just want to say right off the top that I'm terribly sorry and that I had no idea it would come to all this. How bizarre wou... The Boneman Tue, 02 Feb 2010 16:47:19 +0700 http://www.zboneman.com/humor/Breaker-One-Nan-Tiger-Beat-21888.html Breaker One Nine Tiger Beat - What's Your 2010? "Copy that Bogey Man, just rolled into Temple Town, with Calendar Girl riding Shotgun, cummo back." "That's a big 10-4 Good Buddy, looks like we got ourselves a Convoy decade!" Or for those of you younger than 40 - you've got yourself a gauge of Sho... Boneman Mon, 18 Jan 2010 14:55:46 +0700 http://www.zboneman.com/humor/The-Tip-of-Your-Tongue-21791.html How frustrating it can be to have something lodged between the synapses of ones' cortex. A person, place, thing or some tidbit of trivia that only managed to get semi-conducted to your tongue, and there it dangles maddeningly out of reach of your voicebox – usually at the expense of your sanity. Now... The Boneman Sat, 05 Sep 2009 15:59:44 +0700 http://www.zboneman.com/humor/And-Thats-The-Way-It-Is-21776.html I think we're on the threshold of an era when just about every day someone famous is going to die. Now that the advent of television (in every home) is 50 years old (give or take) there are plenty of TV celebrities getting awfully long in the tooth. Within days of Michael Jackson two of the most bel... The Boneman Tue, 04 Aug 2009 19:48:00 +0700 http://www.zboneman.com/humor/Speak-of-the-Devil-21769.html With my kids spending a week with their Grandfolks up North in the bucolic splendor near Park City - I sat in my deserted home and discovered the coolest thing – televisions have an OFF switch! How wonderfully strange it was to have the Disney Channel's relentless bubble gum brainwashing babble sile... The Boneman Mon, 20 Jul 2009 14:01:07 +0700 http://www.zboneman.com/humor/The-Truth-Sucks-21727.html Here it is the wedding season. A time when young hearts thrill and rice is spilled and once again women make that spectacular error in judgement and marry one of us men. I can't believe they're still falling for it. You'd think that after witnessing a life-long parade of embarrassing male behavior,... The Boneman Tue, 19 May 2009 00:21:10 +0700 http://www.zboneman.com/humor/Why-Why-Why-Delilah-21723.html If you're anything like me, you really ought to be ashamed of yourself. Only kidding - everybody always says "open with a joke" which, is a good saying as sayings go, it's not in the same league as "Righty Tighty, Lefty Lucy," by any means. But as I‘ve mentioned before, I actually met "Lefty Lucy?"... The Boneman Mon, 04 May 2009 20:42:06 +0700 http://www.zboneman.com/humor/Old-Naked-People-21694.html Did I mention I'm going to Massage School? I can't remember - or more accurately I‘m too lazy to go back and check. Anyway the school part is pretty much over and I've now entered the phase referred to as "clinic." The portion of our educational journey where we set away our pencils and books and wa... The Boneman Tue, 31 Mar 2009 00:46:48 +0700 http://www.zboneman.com/humor/Using-My-Religion-21677.html I wish I could tell you that my relatively recent return to the good graces of the LDS church was the result of some inspiring saga. A grand tale of the forces of good and righteousness conquering the malevolent forces of evil which, set to music, would be a staple on the Fireside circuit for years.... The Boneman Thu, 26 Feb 2009 17:20:58 +0700 http://www.zboneman.com/humor/Calling-a-Spade-a-Small-Gardening-Shovel-21650.html Do you ever wonder if you're still attractive? It crosses my mind from time to time as the years continue to wrap around me like extra layers of clothing. I'm not talking like "Hollywood pretty-boy sexy" (we can't all be Mickey Rourke) but it'd be nice to imagine that you could still stir up a littl... Boneman Sun, 11 Jan 2009 19:58:54 +0700 http://www.zboneman.com/humor/Fear-Its-Self-21628.html Okay, whatever you do, don't look now, just be cool and keep walking, but I think somebody's following us...I dunno, just chill, walk a little faster, we'll be alright...Dude I told you not to look...ssshhh...I know he's a big white dude - and unless he's a big blind dude he just saw you turn around... The Boneman Mon, 08 Dec 2008 15:34:33 +0700 http://www.zboneman.com/humor/A-Bad-Day-at-the-KKK-21631.html Due to the timing of this issue's print date I find myself on the horns of a dilemma. I think I'm safe to assume that pretty much everybody (from roughly fifth grade on) knows what a dilemma is. Yet as often as dilemmas are described as having horns you may indeed wonder how many youngsters or say,... The Boneman Mon, 08 Dec 2008 18:14:52 +0700 http://www.zboneman.com/humor/Respect-Your-Elders-21606.html I've recently gone and done something that has left most everyone that knows me in a state of stunned, disbelief. I would have to imagine that many of you envision the Boneman as a somewhat funny, but mostly fuddled old skeeze, transgressing his way through life - a mere bus collision away from eter... The Boneman Fri, 10 Oct 2008 15:09:36 +0700 http://www.zboneman.com/humor/That-Certain-Part-of-a-Mans-Body-21495.html Don't worry - I'm not gonna go off on another long-winded election rant. I was just wondering if Bill Clinton likes it when other prominent politicians get caught with their pants down like he used to do so prolifically. Does it make people forget about Monica and the gals or does it just refresh o... The Boneman Mon, 31 Mar 2008 14:52:22 +0700