One of my all-time favorite films, ABOUT A BOY, is a Paul Weitz film. What has he done now? Unless he needed quick cash for an Italian summer villa, why did he do this slow-moving "American Idol" bore? Frankly, how can one parody a show that gives every American an opportunity to be a hanging juror without leaving their homes?

"Amercian Idol" relies on our primal need not to be pick a winner, but pull the beating heart out of a contender. It is really about giving average nobodies the "thumbs up – thumbs down" judgment cell-phone call.

This is an anti-American film at its core: Writer-director Weitz gives us an American President, President Staton (Dennis Quaid), who is a depressed idiot. He needs "happy pills" to get up out of bed and actually READ A NEWSPAPER! This character should be greeting people at Wal-Mart. Instead, our President is hiding in his bedroom. He does watch the hugely successful TV show, American Dreamz, hosted by a self-centered, cruel man, Martin Tweed (Hugh Grant). Grant is a movie star and he is wonderful, yet, he is a movie star. So Weitz makes Tweed self-aware. He is not an idiot, he's just mean. He is mean because his mother didn't love him enough. He hosts the most popular show in the world. Tweed keeps asking: Do people really like me? Should I try to be a better man?

President Staton has just won re-election but he is unhappy. He is slowly awakening to the fact that he should not be having all his thoughts fed to him by his nanny/wet nurse, Vice President Sutter (Willem Dafoe). But he has no thoughts of his own. He is also attended to by his mommy, First Lady Staton (Marcia Gay Harden).

"American Dreamz" is looking for candidates for its new season. Among the contestants, Tweed wants an Arab boy, a Hasidic rapper, and a white-trash beautiful girl.

The Arab turns out to be a Broadway show tune loving terrorist named Omer (Sam Golzari) who is mistaken for his cousin Igbal (Tony Yalda), who actually entered the contest. Omer looks about 45 years old, but Tweed wants him. Omer is a reluctant terrorist even though his mother was killed and he signed up for revenge. He goes to California and is grandly accepted by his relatives, including the fabulously gay Iqbal.

Tweed gets really turned on by watching Sally Kendoo's tape (Mandy Moore), so he wants her on the show. When the Afghan terrorists see that Omer is a contestant and President Staton will be the celebrity judge, they "activate" him. He is to kill the President! I couldn't stop laughing!

Chris Klein is still struggling to find a decent acting career and here he humiliates himself by playing Sally's discarded, dumb boyfriend. Mandy Moore moves nicely into a more complicated role but only Tony Yalda and Willem Dafoe should keep "AMERICAN DREAMZ on their filmography.

(We at zboneman.com are excited to welcome the prolific and multi-talented writer Victoria Alexander to our staff. Critic for http://www.filmsinreview.com/ and pundit and humorist responsible for the candid and fearlessly funny "The Devil's Hammer," her column appears every Monday on http://fromthebalcony.com. Start off your week with a good hard laugh. It's a thrill to have her on board. Victoria Alexander answers every email and can be contacted directly at masauu@aol.com.)