Being the father of precocious pre-tween daughters who have memorized the lines from every tween-tastic show on the Disney Channel and Nickelodeon, it was fait accompli (French for screwed) that I'd be taking in the latest fish-out-of-daughter mermaid tale Aquamarine. Having become something of an authority on middle school programming, I am a good judge of the quality of such fare and thus felt duly compelled to be the one to take this bullet for the team. My wish for this one to be some miraculous cross between Splash and Sponge Bob, did not come to pass, but all in all, it wasn't all that painful.

In a clamshell the story takes place on some posh Florida beach club, where two inseparable 13 year old girls Claire (Emma Roberts) Hailey (Joanna JoJo Levesque) have just learned the most heinous news imaginable. Turns out that Hailey's mother has accepted a job in Australia, and as the two friends have no intentions of spitting up (together they've managed to survive the endless mocking condescension meted out with witchy delight by the older and more developed girls around this Barbie Playhouse of a pink and aquamarine world.) But how? Play Finding Nemo in reverse? Naa too pat, been done to death. As the two mope about reeling from this coup de grace of a tropical punch, the gods of fate step in. The resort is unexpectedly? hit by a Hurricane (the friendly, politically correct kind that don't cause pop stars to go on television and declare that the President doesn't care about black people) The kind that blow over harmlessly and deposit a mermaid in the swimming pool. Yo Snap!

I think the overriding lesson I took away from Aquamarine is that now I know that if you assist a mermaid in distress it entitles you to one wish (just so long as it doesn't violate the laws of nature) There's always a catch with fish. As Hailey and Claire are the first to discover the new girl in the pool (her name is Aquamarine - Sara Paxton) they are quick to make her acquaintance and listen to her heartrending tale. (They say the best way to forget your own problems is to help someone out with theirs - and Aqua has a doozy) It seems that when the Hurricane hit, Aqua was in the middle of running away from home. As we learn, in Mer-world there is no such thing as love, or at least this is what her mer-oldman has been trying to run up on her, to mollify her heartbreak at being foresworn to wed a mer-fella for which she has no feelings. Alas, she is betrothed to some sap of a sea-dweeb, yet she is the only one unhappy about it as the coupling represents an advantageous circumstance for the parents involved - a good family merger. Still Aqua knew there was something missing - something she's heard whispered across the waves. A crazy little thing called love.

So convinced was her Father that love was nothing more than some soggy old myth, he agrees to allow Aqua to choose her own Mer-mate if she can prove to him in the three days left before her wedding that indeed love exists. Something like that anyway. As a bonus for anyone willing to assist her in her quest for fire, should they succeed they will be granted one wish, with the aforementioned fine print restrictions. It's not like you can just turn a pea into a bean. ( As the legend goes the reviewer who dares to use the most dated reference in a movie made for 12 year olds gets a wish too - something like all the obscurity they want - yo snap).

Taking this material from an Alice Hoffman novel, screenwriters Jessica Bendinger (Bring It On) and John Quaintance (TV's Good Morning Miami) aren't above a little titillation to get a laugh, or to up the ante on the edginess of Tween-fare - for example when the gals learn of the wish deal Claire casually inquires "if Aqua can make boobs come out of hiding?" This got a laugh out of my 8 and 7 year olds respectively so I guess it was funny, but more than being risqué it is an accurate estimation of the self conscious inadequacy that girls (and boys) for that matter go through during this miserable transitional period in life. It was moments like this that made you understand that Bendinger and Quaintance worked hard to make this movie a keeper.

By way of introducing Aqua to the concept of love they single out an 18 year old lifeguard who has long been the subject of their pre-pub ponderings. Incidentally Aqua grows legs when she dries off her tail and so they put their heads together over some teen magazines and bat around the finer points of attracting this smoldering specimen of human hunkitude, though he's a bit out Claire and Haileys bracket, he's mer-made to order for the nicely developed Aqua. Overall the elements of such teen fantasy are well in order. Claire and Hailey are the model of wholesome all-American loyalty, and Aqua the prototype princess for their vicarious passage into these rites that await them in the not too distant future. How does it all turn out in the happily ever after department? Interestingly enough it is just original and inspired enough for me to keep my old lips sealed. Because Aquamarine didn't take itself in the least bit seriously while at the same time delivering the goods for the target audience - complete with a nice little life lesson about the true meaning of loyalty, I'm going to push my chips in.. The film knew exactly what it was about and never strayed from those boundaries. Y'know for a movie about a mermaid. Ergo Aquamarine gets a true blue thumbs up. I got my wish, and I think my boobs even grew a little bit.