Bad Boys 2 (2003)
"Damn Kobe fast!"
Starring: |
Will Smith |
Released By: |
Columbia Tri-Star |
Released In: |
2003 |
Rated: |
R |
Reviewed By: |
Adam Mast |
Grade: |
D |
Way back in 1995, Michael Bay burst onto the scene with Bad Boys, a hyper kinetic thriller that breezed along with a buddy cop film sensibility. At the time, Bay was a veteran in the world of television with several music videos and commercials under his belt, but this was his first foray into movies, and he was certainly assisted by Producers Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer.
The movie was a big hit even though there was nothing particularly fresh or exciting about it. Thus begun Mr. Bay's big time film career in which he's subjected movie-goers to sadistic amounts of truly painful cinematic abuse. (I should confess that I did enjoy The Rock in a dumb sort of way and Armageddon had it's moments.) But Pearl Harbor was just a big, ridiculous mess of a movie, and as bad as it was, I never thought Bay was capable of worse. When Bad Boys 2 began filming, I immediately gave him props for learning from his mistakes. Rather than setting out to give us another dumb, dishonest history lesson, he opted to go back and deliver more mindless fun. In a big, fiery ball of stupidity, Bay has done the impossible. He's actually made a worse movie than Pearl Harbor.
The ultra violent and excessive Bad Boys 2 picks up eight years after the first film, and detectives Marcus Barnett and Mike Lowrey (played by Will Smith and Martin Lawrence) haven't changed a bit. They still have a knack for getting into trouble while on the job, and it seems that every time they're after the bad guys, substantial property damage is the inevitable outcome. The wrinkle this time around, is that Lawrence's sister (played by Gabrielle Union) is along for the ride and she also happens to be a cop. If this weren't bad enough, she's also secretly dating Smith. Of course, showing Smith and Union flirt on the DL under big brother Martin's nose is one of the film's big gimmicks.
Bad Boys 2 is set in Miami so naturally the bad guys are drug dealers. I won't bother you with an explanation as to their motives, there isn't much to explain. Let's just say that the real bad guy here is Bay, who has once again stolen two hours of my life. The man must be stopped!
Bad Boys 2, proves beyond a doubt that Mr. Bay doesn't give a rat's ass about quality. This sequel is all about excess, more excess. The only thing about this film that isn't excessive is the storyline. There's very little to speak of and for a story-less movie this long to work, at the very least it needs to establish some rhythm no such luck. Bad Boys 2 has 2 left feet and no legs at all. Sure, it has an impressive car chase in which the bad guys commandeer a vehicle-transport truck and begin to unleash a barrage of new cars in front of our heroes, and there's also a gruesome, somewhat funny chase sequence in which Will and Martin chase a morgue van while cadavers slip out the back and get run over by oncoming traffic. And yes, many things go "BOOM!" in Bad Boys 2. With all this visual flair going for it you'd think this film would flow along at a brisk clip. Negative. No flow. Zip clip. The big chase sequences do offer a few visceral kicks, but they never match the "WOW" factor supplied by the superior chase scenes in Matrix Reloaded and Terminator 3, because they don't move the story along. They just happen and after a while they happen again. Action for the sake of action. It baffles me - they had 8 years to make up a story for this sequel?
Bay seems hell-bent on insulting his audience. Despite the proven comic skills of his two leads, most of the scenes that are meant to be funny, fall flat. And just when I thought it couldn't get any dumber than the homosexual dogs in Legally Blonde 2, Bay treats us to a couple of rats having raunchy sex. Man . . . 8 years for rat sex?
Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are likable performers, but they're hardly likable in this movie, nor do they seem to have any chemistry. Everything feels processed. The only time they exhibit any real playfulness in this flick is a scene in which they hassle a boy who shows up at the house to take Lawrence's daughter out on a date. As funny as this scene is, it doesn't really work because it's mean-spirited vibe keeps it from working as well as it shouldÕve. These two actors are much more talented than this. Of the entire cast, the only two actors that really bring a shimmer of light to the project are Joe Pantoliano as the stereotypical police chief, and Peter Stormare as a strange (surprise) villain. Both play such a small part in the plot, that they aren't able to salvage much of anything.
I don't want anyone out there to think that I'm a hardass when it comes to reviewing movies that don't have a brain. Hell, I'm a big fan of Commando and other such films. I love them. I can handle all the excess in the world. I welcome it with open arms. But in order for such a film to work, it has to be fun. And that's where Michael Bay and his Bad Boys 2 fails so badly. This movie is flashy and big, but not once was it entertaining. It's just one big, ugly, mean-spirited mess of a movie without a heart or soul. One that I will desperately try to forget
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