Bad Teacher is a lame attempt at fusing the irreverent, foul nature of the hilariously twisted Bad Santa, with the funny and heartfelt tenor of School of Rock. Unfortunately, the labored antics throughout this painfully unfunny Cameron Diaz vehicle keep it from reaching its simple goal of making an audience laugh. At least, that's this audience member's opinion. In Bad Teacher, a shrill, irritating, and wholly unlikable Cameron Diaz plays the title character--a selfish educator who--after the implosion of her engagement--opts to suffer through another year of teaching so that she might earn enough money to get a boob job.

Along the way, she feuds with a fellow teacher (played by Lucy Punch--one of the film's few bright spots), develops a crush on a goofy colleague (played by an eager but over the top Justin Timberlake), and tries to ignore the advances of a straight shooting gym coach (a naturally likable but sorely underused Jason Segel). I was completely, and utterly confused by most of this picture. Firstly, I have no idea how Diaz's character became a teacher in the first place. Secondly, her crush on Timberlake makes virtually no sense because his character is an absolute idiot, and third, why on Earth would Segel's character crush on such a bitch?!

These are questions I never would have asked had Bad Teacher offered up consistent laughs or characters truly worth caring about. There is the occasional laugh (most of them delivered by a creatively manic Punch), but most of the gags are in your face naughty (dry humping has never been so unfunny), dull winks at other movies about high school life (Lean on Me, Dangerous Minds, Stand and Deliver, etc.), or mean spirited jabs that are more uncomfortable than funny. At the heart of this forgettable mess is Cameron Diaz (so good in films like There's Something About Mary, My Best Friend's Wedding, and In Her Shoes). I get the distinct impression that director Jake Kasdan (whose made several wonderful movies including Zero Effect, Walk Hard, and The T.V. Set) and his writing team thought that Diaz's natural charm would seep into this despicable character, but that never happens. Billy Bob Thornton was simply an awful human being in Bad Santa, but even he brought a subtle character arc to the table and--despite his vicious nature--he was a funny son of a bitch! Diaz's Elizabeth Halsey by comparison has no character arc, no redeeming attributes, and no under the surface charm. In fact, I'd rather have two weeks of detention than spend another ninety minutes with her!