Date Movie is supposed to do to the romantic comedy, what Scary Movie did to slasher flick. And how could we doubt it, with all the ads making such a pointed effort to make sure we know that Date Movie is coming to us courtesy of the same comic geniuses who blessed the world with Scary Movie. To be more specific it was written and directed by two of the six writers (Aaron Seltzer & Jason Friedberg) who brought us Scary Movie. From their almost nonexistent grasp on the concept of parody, one might fairly surmise that they were the part of the writing team responsible for running spell checks and running for coffee and donuts.

As far as movies are concerned, 2006 has gotten off to a start that's "Dead, Bad and Beyond" and this sorry send-up falls somewhere between Bad and Beyond, which is not as dismal as Bloodrayne which is just Beyond Bad. Seltzer and Friedberg (not to be confused with the classic Vaudeville duo) approach this movie as though under the impression that the "more" references from other movies that they can throw in, the "funnier" the film. They even throw in references to more than a handful of films that aren't even romantic comedies? King Kong, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings, Meet the Parents, Meet the Fockers, and even Rize (spoofing, one would guess Romantic Documentaries?)

The films chief source of parody centers around My Big Fat Greek Wedding (which in and of itself was something of a parody of romantic comedies when you think about it). Our heroine is none other than American Pie vet Alyson Hannigan who comes from a family that's not only Greek, but Black, Indian, and Japanese as well. I hope you think that's funny, because that's as good as it gets. The film opens with Alyson wearing a fat suit - kicking up her heals through the streets of Manhattan to the beat of "My Milkshake." She's not so much worried about counting calories because as it turns out she's soon to undergo liposuction and a full-on make over. A "Pimp My Ride" gag - in which our main character emerges a slight pixie with her pert little nose. Her search for the man of her dreams doesn't take long as she soon falls for a handsome British chap - though, she is tormented by jealousy over his ex-girlfriend. All of the above takes place as a result of bits and pieces borrowed from Hitch, Mr. and Mrs. Smith and What Women Want.

The problem here is that in order for parody to actually be funny there has to be a point to it. You have to do more than just throw in a bunch of recognizable reference. Which is really all Seltzer and Friedberg do is trot out bits and pieces of other movies in rapid succession without using it to make any sort of comment whatsoever. Parody is about taking something that's already been done (it helps if it's really well known, or at least not too dated), then skewing it with some sort of gimmick or twist in order to make an amusing point about something. Usually through the use of clever juxtaposition, or hyperbole. Other times parody is used to take the piss out of something that takes itself too seriously. You send it up - there's more to it than mere recognition of something from another film. Not only does Date Movie not make a point, but it hasn't got a clue. They're just playing "name that movie." I can do that by flipping through my cable channels at home and it doesn't cost 9 bucks.

With only a few exceptions the cast couldn't act their way out of a cereal commercial. And as a substitute for actual parody they rely almost entirely on crude, gross-out humor repeated to the point that it would have been funny had they actually shown one of the actors beating a dead horse. It would have been the only moment with any satirical edge whatsoever. Other notable trot-ons include a Say Anything parody with bits of Bridget Jones, Napoleon Dynamite, Pretty Woman and a host of other films and the kitchen sink being thrown in as a part of some desperate attempt to make up for not having an actual funny script. Just as another example of what a slippery grasp this film has on parody take the Pretty Woman bit. In a brilliant twist instead of the woman being the prostitute, the "guy" is the hooker, get it? He's the one shakin' his money maker on Rodeo Drive in a skimpy skirt and heals - genius! These two ought to be sentenced to 50 hours of community service, where they're locked in a room with Young Frankenstein, Airplane, The Naked Gun, Wallace and Grommit - Curse of the Wererabbit, The Life of Brian, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, and then let out on parody parole. The cameos are lame. Eddie Griffin is lame. The nasty old woman next door is lame. The loose boweled cat is lame, the fact that it's the number one film at the box office is truly lame, little do they know they're not lining up to watch a clever send-up, they're going to see a trivia game.