A "FEAST" FIT FOR A KING!

I've been anxiously awaiting Feast for a long time. Readers of Zboneman.com are well aware of my affinity for the horror genre. It's been a long road for the latest feature spawned from the spectacularly entertaining reality show/film making competition Project Greenlight. And in fact, the third season of Project Greenlight was easily the strongest. At the very least, it was the most intimate and intense season the show had to offer.

Producers Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, and Chris Moore decided fairly early on, that they wanted the third Project Greenlight competition geared toward the horror genre, so they brought in Dimension Films (a studio primarily known for the genre) and horror auteur Wes Craven. Ultimately, a screenplay called Feast by screenwriters Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunston would emerge as the winner, with the slightly eccentric, socially awkward John Gulager (son of veteran character actor Clu) being picked to helm the project.

I'm not going to go into the rigors of the actual production of Feast (which made for immensely entertaining television) because that's not really what this story is about. I will, however, encourage everyone to get ahold of Project Greenlight Season 3 DVD and buy it! It's that good.

Actually, this piece is really about the World Premiere of "Feast" at The Palms Hotel's Brenden Theaters in Las Vegas. The Boneman and I were lucky enough to attend the red carpet event, as well as the swank after party at Little Buddha. Firstly, we'd like to give a special shout out to the stunningly beautiful Public Relations rep Laura Paulsen (I'm not kissing ass – I'm simply reporting the facts) for her kindness and hospitality. She made this possible for us and we're eternally grateful. We've been to several premieres before, but this was certainly one of the most exciting.

Immediately after checking in, we bumped into Judy Thorburn of theflickchicks.com and her husband Stephen of trippervision.com. We've covered a lot of Las Vegas events, and they've sort of become our kick ass connection in Sin City. A special thanks to Judy for hooking us up with a press screening of Steven Zaillian's All the King's Men the next morning (we also showed up early, split up and took-in Factotum and Idlewild - watch for reviews of all three).

Several of the folks responsible for Feast were on hand to walk the carpet, and we did have an opportunity to speak to a few of them. The highlight for me was getting to meet Clu Gulager. This veteran character actor has been around for many, many years, but I sort of came to know him from his wonderful performance in the 80's cult classic Return of the Living Dead. I adore that movie and I was sure to let Clu know it. I loved Return of the Living Dead so much in fact, that I'm hoping to screen it at Horror-Fest 2006. Anyway, it was a thrill just getting to shake this man's hand. We also got to meet Duane Whitaker, who you may remember as the villainous Maynard in Pulp Fiction. In Feast, he plays a horny redneck (to great effect I might add).

I also had a fairly lengthy discussion with screenwriter Patrick Melton. This guy clearly loves horror films (as does his writing partner Marcus Dunston), and when you see Feast it becomes even more evident. We talked a bit about Feast, but mostly we discussed other works of horror that have more or less inspired him through the years. Somehow, we got on the topic of Hostel which we're both big fans of. That lucky bastard got to see Eli Roth's original ending. I have yet to see this version, but I'd prefer it to the ending that was ultimately used (although the ending used is effective as well). We then began discussing crappy endings in general. The Descent immediately came up. Amazing movie, crappy ending. I have had an opportunity to see the original ending of The Descent, and most horror aficionados agree it is the true ending of that outstanding movie. The Boneman and I would eventually talk to Patrick at length during the kick ass after party. We'll get to that in a bit.

The Maloof Brothers were in attendance. They co-financed Feast and own the Palms Hotel and Casino. They also own the Sacramento Kings basketball team. A "Feast" Fit for a King! Get it? That's my lame ass attempt at being witty. Sorry. I'll leave the jokes to The Boneman. We didn't actually get to meet the brothers Maloof and, since I'm leaving the jokes to the Boneman, I wouldn't say they were altogether aloof, but they did make a rather quick exit.

John Gulager also walked the carpet with his long time girlfriend Diane Goldner. Actually, I got an outstanding shot of them flipping the bird to a cheering crowd. I met Gulager once before. Strangely enough, it was at a midnight screening of The Descent at The Sundance Film Festival last Jan. The first thing that struck me about Gulager is how damn accessible he is. He came across as socially awkward on Project Greenlight, and he isn't the world's greatest public speaker, but when you get him in a one on one, he's an awesome dude to talk to. I didn't get to talk to him on the Red Carpet, but I did bump into him in the screening room, and he and his girlfriend did remember me from The Descent screening. We talked for a couple of moments and at the end of the conversation, Gulager asked me if I had seen his film yet (it's had several test screenings in the past several months). I said I hadn't yet. He then asked if I was staying for the screening to which I replied; "What, are you kidding me? I've been waiting for this movie forever!" I'm fairly confident he dug that response.

Back to the Red Carpet. As the Boneman and I began talking for a moment, our conversation was cut short by deafening cheering from the crowd. Seriously, it was so damn loud, we couldn't hear shit! That could only mean one thing. Two things actually; the arrival of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. Sure enough, there they were. In the flesh. It was apparent that a good portion of the fans hanging around the outer perimeter of the Red Carpet were there to see these famous performers. Even though The Boneman and I were well positioned, we were unable to interview Affleck and Damon. Their appearance was about as brief as the Maloofs.

As fate would have it, however, we would get to say a couple of words to Affleck and Damon shortly thereafter. As The Boneman and I made our way to the theater to grab our seats for the Feast screening, guess who popped up right behind us in line? Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. Judy approached Affleck immediately knowing she probably wouldn't get another chance. She told Affleck she really admired his work in the recent Hollywoodland (a film I have yet to see). Then I made my move. I shook Affleck's hand and told him I still believe Chasing Amy to be his finest work. I then took a step to the left and gave Matt Damon a little high five. And that was it. No deep, thoughtful conversations about the meaning of life or the hardships of celebrity. There were too many screaming fans around for that sort of thing. Bummer. I really wanted to talk to Damon. He's done some outstanding work through the years (in particular, I'm a big fan of Rounders). That and the fact that I'd promised some girls at work that I'd get the two heart throbs to give them a call on their cell phones. Oh well. It wasn't meant to be. Sorry girls. You'll just have to talk to me instead.

So The Boneman and I get into the theater and we get two perfect seats in the middle of the screening facility. As we wait for the film to begin, we mingle with fellow press and film fans and then The Boneman had a brief conversation with Feast co-star Josh Zuckerman who happened to be sitting just in front of us. Two minutes into their conversation, Chris Moore hits the stage. He talks a bit about the making of the film and then introduces John Gulager. Gulager grabs the microphone and not surprisingly, he had slight difficulty speaking, which is actually kind of endearing. After a few moments, he gets in his comfort zone and begins thanking all the folks in the house who worked on the film. In an embarrassing Hilary Swank moment, he nearly forgets to acknowledge his father and girlfriend. Thankfully, he remembers (rather he was reminded) at the last moment. He then passes the mic off to the screenwriters. Marcus and Patrick make very brief comments, so that the movie might get under way. Finally, the lights dim and we the audience are treated to the high energy madness that is Feast.

FEAST (R)
Starring Balthazar Getty, Henry Rollins, Duane Whitaker, Clu Gulager, Krista Allen, Navi Rawat, Chauntae Davies, Diane Goldner, Jason Mewes, Josh Zuckerman, Judah Friedlander.
Released by Dimension Films

Feast is a hyper kinetic love letter to all things horror, most notably Night of the Living Dead, Evil Dead, From Dusk Til Dawn, and The Thing.

Oddly, there are some eerie similarities between Feast and Neil Marshall's stunning The Descent. Both films feature characters trapped in tight surroundings, and both feature blood craving creatures. What's more, there are elements of in fighting and betrayal in both movies, although it should be noted that Feast is decidedly lighter and actually finished shooting while The Descent was still in production.

Feast's set up is a simple one. Several strangers barricade themselves in a bar in the middle of nowhere, in an effort to fend off a family of carnivorous, otherworldly creatures that are trying to eat them.

Among the strangers are a bonafide insult slinger (Balthazar Getty), his wheel chair bound brother (Josh Zuckerman), a tough looking but surprisingly nerdy motivational speaker (Henry Rollins), a horny redneck (Duane Whitaker), an actor (Jason Mewes playing himself), an old school bartender (Clu Gulager), and a chronic smart ass (Judah Friedlander) who, more or less, appears to be channeling Bill Paxton's Hudson character from Aliens.

There is no origin story. Where did these monsters come from? Who really gives a rats! Not I and neither will any fan of the genre. Feast simply thrusts us into the gore filled action.

While there aren't necessarily any character arcs to be found in this creative and fun blood bath, it does offer up nifty character introduction disclaimers (titled on the screen) that are both clever and extremely deceptive. Feast is one of those flicks where any character might be killed at any given second and we're never sure who might make it out alive. I won't give any of them away, but the film deserves even bigger props for numerous moments that are quite often considered taboo – even in the world of horror.

Feast was part of Ben Affleck, Matt Damon and Chris Moore's Project Greenlight film making competition and, while the small budget occasionally shows, Gulager gets some powerful mileage from the power of suggestion and on balance Feast's wicked playfulness and perverse sense of humor ultimately prevails.

Feast is choppy to be sure, but somehow, the movie flows amazingly well. Some of the action is shot in a muddled, at close range fashion. I don't think this necessarily represents Gulager's inability to stage action. I think it's more about the low budget and uber tight shooting schedule. Clearly, he didn't have the time or money to shoot everything the way he wanted. How could he? This is after all his first feature. For what's it's worth, Gulager still pulls off some splendid tricks through interesting camera angles and outstanding sound design.

Furthermore, Gulager does unleash some truly spectacular money shots. Feast isn't without it's moments of sheer, inspired lunacy. There's buckets of blood, maggots galore, decapitations, creature copulation and the crowning money shot - a severed monster penis! Yes Lorena, your influence lives on.

What's more, the screenplay by Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan is surprisingly clever and pretty damn funny to boot. There are some serious laugh-out-loud moments here including a scene in which a desperate Judah Friedlander proclaims himself "Upper case fucked." Feast, while extremely familiar in some respects, also manages to avoid many of the horror film cliches fans might be used to. For example, watch as one character is sent on a rescue mission. As this character reaches potential safety, he/she does something most unexpected and it's the single funniest moment in the picture. It's probably the same thing anyone of us would do had we been in the same situation. I was also somewhat surprised by Friedlander's fate. After coming into contact with one of the creatures, I thought for sure the film would go the "alien infection" route, but once again, Feast surprised me.

Clearly, I love horror films - particularly those of the low budget variety. You know – the flicks made with blood, sweat and tears? Movies like Night of the Living Dead and the Evil Dead series. Inspiring examples of creativity trumping a lack of budget. I don't know that I'd necessarily put Feast in the same league as the previously mentioned movies, but it's a rousing good time and demonstrates a crafty film crew's ability to deliver an entertaining genre film with very little money.

What really makes Feast work is it's rapid-fire pacing. Sure, it has it's repetitious moments and it isn't always completely sure-handed, but I applaud this film's energy and it's ability to buck numerous cliches that often plague films of the genre. And I loved the ending – a sort of homage to one of the more common cliches in horror movies.

It's been a banner year for Horror. Hostel and The Descent represent a striking return to horror and even Silent Hill and The Hills Have Eyes, while flawed, brought a certain swagger back to the fore. Feast is more along the lines of James Gunn's hilariously playful Slither. You know the drill - you're laughing one second and gagging the next.

My biggest gripe with Feast is the manner in which it's being distributed. Sadly, the movie won't get a full release. Instead, Dimension films will do a special midnight run of the picture in select markets for one day only–September 22nd. Then, the film will be dumped on DVD in October. What a shame. I don't understand this approach at all. I realize that Dimension will be saving distribution money, but this film deserves more fanfare. I mean hell, it's worlds better than Pulse and that film got a major release. At any rate, Feast is a lot of fun and I encourage folks to hit these midnight screenings. For more information on theaters and show times, google Feast + movie and log on to it's myspace page.

Feast isn't exactly a masterpiece of modern horror, but Gulager and crew should be commended for delivering such an entertaining picture, particularly given the budget and the rigorous shooting schedule. Screenwriters Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan have just optioned a new project called Midnight Man. It should begin shooting soon. I can't wait to see it. As for Gulager, I'm definitley interested in seeing what he can do with a bigger budget. As it stands, Feast is a blood drenched good time and deserves to be seen.

Grade: B

AFTER PARTY AT LITTLE BUDDHA

So the fun didn't stop with Feast itself. We were also treated to an after party at the Palms' very own Little Buddha – a spectacularly ambient bar/Asian cuisine restaurant. Upon entering Little Buddha, we were instantly treated like V.I.P.s which, in an odd way, was a bit disconcerting. While The Boneman is famous, I am not, so I'm not exactly accustomed to being wined and dined like this. I've been to other after-parties, but there was something extra special about this one. While partying the evening away, we bumped into Patrick Melton again. We picked up the conversation we started on the Carpet a few hours prior. I told him how pleased I was that he and his fellow Feast crew didn't go back and shoot an origin piece for the film (something that early test screening audiences clamored for). It would have served absolutely no point. Telling us where the monsters come from would just sort of ruin the mystique of it all. Patrick explained to The Boneman and I that that's why he and Marcus never put it in the first place. I tried to get a little information about their upcoming project Midnight Man. Not surprisingly, he was extremely tight lipped about it. That's to be expected. The Boneman also took time to pitch his screenplay Fan Club. Like an expert salesman, he also got Patrick to agree to do a little Q & A for the site. That should be coming in the next week or so. It was just an outstanding evening. The Boneman and I must have eaten and consumed $200 worth of gourmet quality eats and libation. The food was outstanding (Spring rolls, Sushi, Teriyaki Beef, Pot Stickers etc.) and the party put together the Boneman's favorite to words Open and Bar. What's more, they weren't watered down. I had a long Island Iced Tea, and it was Long on the Island, baby! Special props to Eric Franke, manager of this extraordinary establishment and coincidentally a long time friend of the Boneman family. The only downside to the evening came upon our exiting the restaurant. The Boneman decided to do a little gambling, and unfortunately, he lost his wallet. So if any readers out there happened to be in The Palms Hotel Casino and came across a fat wallet with The Boneman's I.D. in it, please return it. It's the one that says; "Bad Mother Fucker!" Thanks again to all.