"Based on a true story." "Inspired by a true story." Prominently displayed, one would surmise to incline the audience toward patriotic zeal. Just the sort ofinsurance that is a tacit understanding that if for some unGodly reason you don't care for the film, you're unquesionably un-American. These movies are (unless about serial killers and politicians) always heroic tales of quite ordinary people thrust into perilous circumstances that requires the kind of courageous feats of derring do, that only a heartless commie would not be moved to cheer for these working stiffs turned Americam heores.

Here goes.

"Based on a true story," during WWI, American volunteers – or, as I like to put it, the unemployed poor, went to France to join the French squadron, The Lafayette Escadrille, to join the most noble of all causes - taking the fight those evil Nazis.

The movie begins in typical fashion with little vignette backstories about some of the volunteers. There is a Texan, Blaine Rawlings (James Franco), who just lost his family's ranch due to lousy management, an aristocrat whose father belittles him into doing something heroic for the family name, a black boxer, and a bumbling bank robber on the run. They do not speak French but luckily they are under the command of English-speaking, stiff-necked Capt. Georges Thenault (Jean Reno). They are to support the only other pilot, American Reed Cassidy (Martin Henderson). He's jaded and irascible since all his friends have been killed by highly skilled German pilots.Thus his reluctance to befriend any of these newcomes is largely due to his fear of making shortlived friendships to make any new friends.

Cassidy has a pet lion that sleeps with him. (I recently stopped by MGM Grand's lion habitat. I was truly amazed how close the pacing lions came to the glass. I counted teeth. The lions live in custom accommodations on an 8.5-acre ranch 12 miles from the MGM Grand. They are brought to the hotel to lounge around – i.e. work - for only 6 hour shifts. The trainers were playing with them and petting them. I saw one of the lions carrying a pair of slippers in his mouth. Obviously, they are very well cared for. It was quite amazing.)

Because every hero needs a love interest (recently, "The Invincible"), ace pilot Rawlings crashes cute and finds Florence Nightingale in a whorehouse. But she's not a prostitute! Lucienne (Jennifer Decker) is just delivering vegetables. Since she is a French peasant caring for her dead brother's three small children, she and Rawlings have long, drawn-out awkward non-verbal dates. The movie comes to a shrieking halt whenever they are together. Cassidy has more chemistry with Whiskey the Lion.

There are lots of flying battles, crashes, deaths, and a German running on top of a flaming zeppelin. Can you do that?

The director, Tony Bill, squanders his big budget on the stunt pilots, forgetting about making any of these characters come to life. The dialogue is awful. Bill also does not give Franco the type of photography and direction he requires. Franco is being groomed to be a star, but Bill is not the man for this or any other job the film requires of him,

Young guys like Franco have got to stop being seduced by a starring role (and the contractually-mandated face-on-the-poster) and get a director who will fall in love with them – cinematically, of course. Franco needs Ridley Scott or Quentin Tarantino, directors who know how to pump testosterone and sex appeal into performances.
Look what Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez did for Benicio Del Toro and Mickey Rourke in "Frank Miller's Sin City." Tony Bill all but neuters Franco in Fly Boys.

Bill allows Franco to slouch when he walks. Franco is directed to look like a grinning brat instead of a daredevil facing those Bloody Red Barons in their black biplanes.

Scenes are repeated without variation, the French officers look like the children of Insp. Jacques Clousseau, and no one looks heroic. Couldn't the three screenwriters Phil Sears, Blake T. Evans, David S. Ward, come up with exciting back stories, conflicts, and egos in the sky? All concerned from Tony Bill to those just mentioned couldn't hit the broad side of a Barnstormer.

(We at zboneman.com are excited to welcome the prolific and multi-talented writer Victoria Alexander to our staff. Critic for http://www.filmsinreview.com/ and pundit and humorist responsible for the candid and fearlessly funny "The Devil's Hammer," her column appears every Monday on http://fromthebalcony.com. Start off your week with a good hard laugh. It's a thrill to have her on board. Victoria Alexander answers every email and can be contacted directly at masauu@aol.com.)