The screening was filled with screaming girl soccer teams. "Inspired by a true story" always leads me to note what is "fact" and what is "improbable." There are a lot of improbables here.

Jumping over a fence, Santiago Munez (the expressive, and very handsome Kuno Becker) and his family cross the Mexican border to California. After this vignette, we see Santiago as a 20 year old unhappy landscaper working in the family business. His father, (Tony Plana) is still angry with his wife for running out on the family. He hates their good lifestyle and opportunities that America has provided. It's been ten years and he still hasn't bothered to learn English.

Santiago loves soccer and plays it whenever he can. When a Scotsman, Glen Foy (Stephen Dillane), happens to see him play, he immediately offers to help make Santiago a big star in England. Santiago's father laughs at this and uses his son's secret money to buy a truck to open his own landscaping business. Santiago's grandmother pawns her jewelry and takes out her secret stack of money to get Santiago to England.

Opportunity No. 3: He is too old to recruit. This Santiago has more people pushing for him and more hand-given opportunities for stardom than Ben Affleck!

Foy uses his past credential as a football star and scout for Newcastle United to get Santiago a try-out. Instead of putting up the ticket money, Santiago has to take his little grandma's "Hell Or High Water" money.

Improbable No. 3: How did Santiago travel without a passport?

In London Foy gives Santiago money and a place to stay. Santiago is lousy at his try-out but Foy begs manager Erik Dornhelm (Marcel Iures) to give him another chance. He is given a month to work out. Again, Santiago fails. And again, everyone comes to his aid and begs for more chances for him. We should all be blessed with so many opportunities! No matter how much Santiago fails on the field, or lies about his medical condition, Dornhelm keeps him on.

Soon it is up to the football superstar-playboy Gavin Harris (Alessandro Nivola) to help Santiago even endangering his own status within the team. Also lucky for Santiago, he has the love a nice sports nurse, Roz (Anna Friel), who never dates footballers, but, with her full bosom heaving, supports him unconditionally.

Sure, it's a nice trite story of a Mexican underdog who is given a shot he may or may not deserve, but has to be cajoled and pressured into delivering. There is nothing new brought to the table here. Are there really no new stories to tell about the ruthless world of professional sports? Santiago has a sweet heart with absolutely no killer-instinct for professional sports – at least not shown here.

Santiago's father really didn't want him to become a soccer star? And wasn't it just too improbable that his papa should stop off at an English bar just at the moment his son was scoring?

And, you know that Santiago will find out that even his angry father finally gave him support as well.

I think David Beckham (here in an awkward cameo) is one of the most gorgeous men in the world, but sadly, his high-pitched voice – briefly on display here - has seriously deterred his world domination (outside of sports and product modeling). Can't he get Al Pacino's voice coach to help him lower his voice? Remember Al's voice back in the days of "The Godfather?" Now he sounds like he is chewing gravel. There must be a vocal cord-lowering operation for Beckham. I understand he can afford it.

We at zboneman.com are excited to welcome the prolific and multi-talented writer Victoria Alexander to our staff. Critic for http://www.filmsinreview.com/ and pundit and humorist responsible for the candid and fearlessly funny "The Devil's Hammer," her column appears every Monday on fromthebalcony.com. Start off your week with a good hard laugh. It's a thrill to have her on board. Victoria Alexander answers every email and can be contacted directly at masauu@aol.com.)