I don't mind when a movie starts off in the center of the story and you have to pay attention and work out the details. But with "Haven," you are dropped into an indecipherable muddle. The Caribbean accents do not help.

One story starts "Haven" off: A Miami businessman, Carl Ridley (Bill Paxton), is doing some shady dealings in the tax-free Cayman Islands. When he finds out that the Feds are pulling up to arrest him, he grabs his petulant 18-year-old daughter Pippa (Agnes Bruckner) from school and they take off for the Caribbean island.

Did I mention Carl displays an inappropriate obsession with his fully-blossomed daughter?

To spite dad, Amanda immediately meets a local player Fritz (Victor Rasuk) who is in trouble with the town's thugs. He snoops around and sees Carl's stash of money foreshadowing what will eventually happen. Next time you prance around naked while stacking a million dollars in hundreds, make sure you close your bedroom door.

This storyline abruptly ends and we turn our attention to Shy (Orlando Bloom), a poor fisherman who is secretly romancing his boss' daughter, Andrea (Zoë Saldaña). I'm not sure why Andrea's family is against the relationship, is it race or because Shy is poor?

After a night of lovemaking right under her father's also obsessed nose, and Shy's buddy falls asleep without keeping lookout, Andrea's brother Hammer (Anthony Mackie) decides to rectify the family's dishonor. What does Hammer do? He throws acid in Shy's face, disfiguring the beautiful young man who, until this point, showed no vanity whatsoever. Shy becomes a miserable recluse.

In India more than 5,000 brides die annually because their dowries are considered insufficient, according to the United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF). Crimes of passion, which are treated extremely leniently in Latin America, are the same thing with a different name, some rights advocates say.

Fade to black. What happened to Carl and Pippa? Is Carl a bad man or a pawn for someone more crafty?

Four months later the two stories collide but we have been exhausted by now doping out why these two young couples are bound together in a movie. And why do both fathers keep embracing their teenage daughters?

First-time writer-director Frank E. Flowers, a native of the Caymans, shows promise; and, since he got an impressive cast, with Bloom serving as a producer, should continue to grow and develop as a director. Flowers failing here is the sloppy, and loopy, stories. More underbelly grit, and a linear storyline, would have helped.

(We at zboneman.com are excited to welcome the prolific and multi-talented writer Victoria Alexander to our staff. Critic for http://www.filmsinreview.com/ and pundit and humorist responsible for the candid and fearlessly funny "The Devil's Hammer," her column appears every Monday on http://fromthebalcony.com. Start off your week with a good hard laugh. It's a thrill to have her on board. Victoria Alexander answers every email and can be contacted directly at masauu@aol.com.)