Pumpkin (2002)
Warning: This is as close as you get to seeing Ricci's boobs!
Starring: |
Christina Ricci |
Released By: |
Fools |
Released In: |
2002 |
Rated: |
R |
Reviewed By: |
The Boneman |
Grade: |
D- |
Pumpkin felt like a film that a college student had to write at the last minute as a class assignment. That's about how much depth, humanity and compassion was invested into it. It felt like a Twilight Zone episode in that it was supposed to be happening in the present, but everyone dressed and acted as if it were the mid 60's.
Christina Ricci plays a sorority sister with a good deal of tenure, who belongs to an also-ran outfit that is always taking second place to their Rival sorority comprised tall blonde alpha models who have life fed to them on a golden spoon. This year however, the gals of Beta Bla Bla Bla have contrived a project that should finally win them the coveted SOY award (Sorority of the Year). The plan is to have the Sisters help a group of handicapped (challenged) Special Olympic athletes achieve their dreams.
At first Ricci finds the idea abhorrent as does her roommate, Doninique Swain (Lolita) who turns in the worst performance by an actress in a non-Screaming horror film role I've seen in years. She's so, so bad, I still haven't fully come to terms with it. In any case, when these challenged fellows show up in their short buses the challenged-lad that Ricci is matched with turns out to be a rather normal looking fellow (Pumpkin) who has a slight speech impediment and a physical problem akin to mild Palsy. Soon Ricci overcomes her aversion to the handicapped and, to her vast confusion, begins to develop feelings toward Pumpkin.
This is a development that horrifies every other character in the film from her Mother to her roommate, to her boyfriend, to Pumpkin's mother, to all of her Sorority sisters, to the guy picking up litter in the streets - oh my goodness what an outrage. I must now stop and tell you that this movie is so completely offensive and awful that it should be rated (NC-17). No handicapped person is going to watch this film and come away without being horribly offended and rightfully so.
The relationship that eventually develops between Ricci and Pumpkin is so beside the point amid all of this completely inane and ill-advised opposition that it hardly matters and anyone with a conscience will turn this film off before it ends. The performances are wooden and false across the board and again Dominque Swain is so bad that it's completely beyond comprehension - she was pretty good in Lolita as I recall. Since I'm being so brutally candid I should confess that one of the reasons I wanted to see this movie is because it was rated R which held out the promise of seeing Ricci's prodigious boobs, but even more cruelly we are denied even this small consolation which makes one feel all the more dirty and foolish for watching this reprehensibly bad film.
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