Stealth is a silly, half-baked actioneer that dares to fuse the obvious, but entertaining mechanics of Top Gun with the intellectual characteristics of Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey, and it pretty much fails on both levels. Oddly enough, I got to see the first half of this picture at ShoWest back in March, but nothing in the opening hour of Stealth could possibly prepare me for the unfocused, absolutely ridiculous lunacy that would follow.

As Stealth opens, we are introduced to the finest the military has to offer. Ben Gannon (Josh Lucas), Kara Wade (Jessica Biel), and Henry Purcell (Jamie Foxx) are seasoned pilots who are in for one hell of an adventure when technology's newest breakthrough has a major malfunction. This breakthrough comes in the form of EDI (a tepid updating of the intellectually superior Hall 9000), an artificial intelligence which just so happens to control a new model of the Stealth bomber. While on a test run, a bolt of lightening gives EDI some pretty nutty ideas, and soon, this unmanned Stealth begins acting on it's own directives in yet another homage to Frankenstein.

The first half of Stealth introduces us to three beautiful people who I never once bought into as military pilots. They engage in small time chit chat, reciting dialogue that wouldn't be fit for Starship Troopers (the same fate befell the recent Fantastic Four). This is extremely disappointing given that the screenplay was written by the eccentric W.D. Richter who penned the entertaining Big Trouble in Little China. Directly following the dull set up, director Rob Cohen (XXX, Fast and the Furious) throws these attractive people into instant peril, surrounding them with huge explosions and high tech (and impressive) special effects, neither of which manage to disguise the fact that this is a really stupid movie.

The second half of Stealth is an entirely different beast. It ditches most of the labored commentary about the potential dangers of pushing technology too far, and instead hearkens back to the over-the-top antics of the action pictures of the 80's (think Rambo: First Blood Part II and Commando etc.). It's all there - men of power with hidden agendas, soldiers trapped behind enemy lines, and scenes in which a single hero manages to overcome insurmountable odds.

Stuck in this mess is the ultra talented Jamie Foxx. And before anyone jumps down his throat for following up Ray with Stealth, know that he was already shooting Stealth before the Oscar winning bio pic hit theaters. And for what it's worth, his Henry Purcell is surprisingly likable, even though there is zero character development here - unless you count the airplane with a mind it's own.

This movie just gets more and more ridiculous as it moves along. Take for instance a sequence in which Kara is forced to eject from her malfunctioning Stealth bomber. As she falls to what must be a certain death, she actually gives a play by play commentary as she's hurtling towards the Earth below. And wouldn't you know it? She just happens to be above North Korea. How convenient. Meanwhile, Ben soon discovers he has problems of his own when he quickly realizes that he might just be expendable. Could this mean he may just have to join forces with the very unmanned and not-playing-with-a-full-flight-deck Stealth Bomber he was trying to destroy? That would be pretty wacky.

I suppose this movie should be filed under the category; " So awful, that it's actually somewhat entertaining." In fact, had the effects work not been so good, Stealth might have been even more enjoyable. As it stands, this is a very stupid flick, but I was strangely amused by moments in it, particularly in the last half hour in which a man's unrequited love for a woman close to him compels him to do something even more stupid than the movie. What's more, a woman's affection for that man compels her to call him a "pussy" for not revealing these true feelings. Ahhh. Isn't that romantic - a pussy? And after he risked life and limb for that self-same cockpit? Welcome to the action-packed landscape of the dumb summer action movie.

P.S. That cockpit line has been in turn-around for a long time, I must say I'm quite relieved that I was finally able to green-light it.