Oh boy! Here we go again. I wasn't the biggest fan of How the Grinch Stole Christmas. While I am a fan of Ron Howard, I found that movie to be a big bore lacking the magic that makes the children's book and the old cartoon so wonderful. I never felt like I was watching the Grinch. I felt like I was watching Ace Ventura painted green. Yes, Jim Carey was all wrong for that picture because he did his usual Schick instead of playing the character the way he is in the story. Cat in the Hat meets with the same sort of problem, only this time the culprit is funny man Mike Myers.

Initially, I was going to write this review in a Dr. Seuss rhyme fashion, but I see a few nationally known critics have already beat me to it. Besides, to be honest, I was so annoyed by this movie, I didn't want to invest the time or effort into a creative review since most of what I'm going to report is of the negative sort.

Most of you should be familiar with the basis of the plot. A bratty, messy little boy and his cute but coy sister make friends with the legendary Cat in the Hat who has a nasty quirk for causing chaos while their mom is at work. All of which makes for a turbulent day as they try to outsmart their next door neighbor, a man with one hidden agenda or other who also happens to be dating the kids' mother.

I was somewhat won over by the first fifteen minutes of this movie. From it's Dr. Seuss fronted studio logos and credits, to an uproarious performance by Alec Baldwin which is somewhat groovy. I thought maybe this Suess send-up was going to pan out, but then Mike Myers shows up, and turns out to be something of an offensive lout. Don't get me wrong. I'm a huge Mike Myers fan. It's just that he takes what is supposed to be a beloved, endearing kitty and turns him into an annoying feline that was upsetting to me.

I did like the look of the picture. The world created on screen is a colorful and fun, unfortunately it all-too-closely copies Tim Burton's Edward Scissorhands which has already been done.

Dakota Fanning is absolutely adorable and has proven to be quite the actress. She all but stole the show in the heavyhanded I Am Sam (another film that seems hellbent on turning Dr. Seuss' name into Green Eggs and Spam). Here, she's as cute as ever but she's never given the opportunity to shine because this whole movie becomes a Mike Myers ill-inspired endeavor. Spencer Breezily was incredibly annoying in the Bruce Willis family comedy The Kid, and while I'm happy to report he isn't nearly as irritating in this, I was still unimpressed by the work that he did. I know, I know. Your probably thinking I'm some kind of ogre to be ripping on a child actor. It's just that this movie is so void of magic and humor that it becomes quite a factor. Of all the performances in the movie, it is Baldwin's that works best. Yet after the first fifteen minutes the rest of the film is something of a mess.

Much of Cat in the Hat feels improvised. The movie never really finds any sort of flow. It just feels like several unfunny skits strung together which made for a rather disconcerting show.

And parents out there beware. This Cat in the Hat is punctuated with some really off-color fare. At one point in the movie the Cat refers to a muddy gardning tool as a "dirty hoe." There's also an erection gag and plenty of other bathroom humor that makes for a very un-family friendly show. I certainly don't claim to be any kind of prude, but much of the material is unforgivably crude.

In the end, I can say one nice thing about The Cat in the Hat. My kids sure loved it. I have a five year old and a two year old, and they were entranced by the vibrant color and quick pacing of this movie, but beyond this thatís about that. I can only hope if "The Star Belly Sneeches" (one of my very favorite Seuss stories) ever makes it to the big screen, it's handled in a manner that's far more clean.