The Fog continues the ongoing trend of remakes that make the original filmmakers look like geniuses. This one is an updating of the terrific low budget 80's flick by John Carptenter, (who "is" a genius in my book) and while this new version benefits from a bigger budget, in the translation it loses everything that made the original so damned entertaining. In their attempt to blow us away with all the up-to-date-effects-technology money can buy, the film makers lost sight of the fact that what made the original Fog so special, was Carpenter's amazing resourcefulness. With a fraction of the money they spent on this retread, one of the true masters of horror films was able to bring a simple but wonderfully atmospheric thriller to life - as if by magic. I should have known I was in for a crappy time the moment this movie started and a Fall Out Boy song began to blare on the soundtrack. I bear no ill will towards Fall Out Boy fans, but this annoyed me from the get go.

In The Fog, the island community of Antonio Bay is threatened by a mysterious fog bank that rolls in unexpectedly. Soon, the townsfolk - headed by seaman Nick Castle (played by Smallville's Tom Welling) discover a deep dark secret being harbored by their sleepy little town. Could this secret have something to do with the possessed fog bank that strangely begins taking lives? I mean fog is kind of spooky and everything but mostly it just gets you wet.

True, the original Fog isn't considered a classic by any means. I personally love the film and have had endless debates about it's effectiveness with other fans of the genre. You have to remember that at that time, there was no CGI - but it didn't stop Carpenter from delivering the goods.

John Carpenter had limited funds to bring his vision to life. Director Rupert Wainwright (Stigmata) was blessed with a much larger budget, but his take on The Fog is further proof that more money does not a great movie make. For the most part, this version felt like nothing more than an excuse to show Tom Welling with his shirt off and to reveal that chick from "Lost" (Maggie Grace) prancing around in her panties. While Welling is clearly a likable presence (illustrated to much stronger effect on Smallville), Grace is quite dull. Don't get me wrong. She's a lovely actress and I like her on Lost, but here, she appears . . . well - lost. And the relationship between the two is presented in such a completely ridiculous way that it was impossible to buy into. While the relationship as presented in the original was hardly memorable, at least it was more sensible, because it more or less came out of a one night stand. Here, there's supposed to be some kind of history that is never truly developed or explained. I know this is a horror film, but why even bring up events in the past if you're not going to draw any connection to the present.

The one saving grace in terms of performance is the lovely Selma Blair, who does a terrific job as radio personality Stevie Wayne, a role made famous by John Carpenter muse Adrienne Barbeau in the 80's version. As a single mother providing for her son, Blair proves to be surprisingly effective in a very underwritten role, and perfectly captures the spirit exuded by Barbeau. Of course the major difference here is Wayne's play list. Then it was smooth, late-night jazz, now it's pretty much shit. Such is the current status of radio rock I suppose.

One of my very favorite sequences in the original film features a terrified Wayne climbing atop her lighthouse radio station in an attempt to escape the clutches of the evil within the fog. Wainwright completely ditches this entire sequence and instead has Wayne flee her station surroundings (surroundings that would make for spine tingling, claustrophobic terror) to find her missing son. I suppose this is a noble scenario, but in the original, she stays in the lighthouse in an attempt to continue updating the townspeople. This is also a noble cause, but more importantly, it sets up the most intense sequence in the picture. No such luck here.

Also included in this Fog is more insight into the back story. Through flashback, we are witness to the conspiracy that ultimately renders Antonio Bay cursed. Carpenter was more content (most likely because of budgetary reasons) in just having characters talk about the back story rather than showing it. Characters played by seasoned actors I might add. Veterans like Hal Holbrook and John Houseman. Again, no such luck here. What's more, we get a twist of sorts in this Fog. One that makes virtually no sense at all. And I could have done without the cheesy looking apparitions that show up near the end of the film. The beings in the original picture were far creepier and much more menacing.

Everything I've just written though is completely irrelevant. The bottom line is this film is decent to look at, but it isn't scary at all, nor does it offer up an iota of tension. The whole experience is made more disheartening by the fact that Mr. Carpenter himself lends his name as producer. I hope he plans on taking all the money this weak film makes, and doing good by it. This Fog "mist" the mark by a mile (although I do prefer it to last year's Amityville Horror updating), Bottom line: If you're looking for a good scare in the fog, rent the original.