The Whole Ten Yards, to quote Beavis and Butthead, has found a whole new way to suck. The original film was a wait-for-video affair that turned out to be fairly winning for four reasons - one and two were Amanda Peet's boobs that were casually on display during an entire scene that had nothing to do with boobs. Reason number three - was that you really weren't expecting it to be very good and number four - it had just enough unexpected Martin and Lewis chemistry between Willis and Perry to pass for a tentative thumbs up.

Not the kind of thumbs up that would merit a sequel by any means and yet here it is. Trust me - this misfire of a load is the kind of film you might watch a year from now on HBO, because you've become too drowsy to operate your remote. Back are the original cast, including Kevin Pollak who was killed in the first film but is resurrected with a little help from the makeup department and the screenwriter (he plays his father in the sequel and at times threatens to steal the film) until he realized that it isn't going to be worth the effort.

In the original Willis (the Hit Man) and Perry (The Dentist) through a circuitous series of misadventures end up swapping mates. The aforementioned Peet along with Natasha Henstridge and everything came to a happy little close. They really should have let this one lie. Seriously Perry's performance became far more painful than anything I've ever experienced at the hands of a dentist. And Willis was just embarrassingly bad here. (Think ten times worse than Robert DeNiro crying in Analyze This).

If they would have eliminated half or the tiresome pratfalls that Perry took, and half of the time Bruce Willis wept like a baby, the movie would have only lasted 20 minutes and it would have not lost one ounce of plot-structure. Henstridge for her part, will suffer the least career damage, as her screen-time was brief, but Willis and particularly Perry will take it on the chin from every critic in this country. Not a very auspicious beginning for Perry's post-Friends career, I should say. Peet won't lose any stock, particularly after Saving Silverman and as we speak she's shooting with Woody Allen, and again Pollak proved to be the most consistently funny thing going on in this Cleveland Steamer.

In truth there are a handful of laughs here, after all the entire hour and forty minute film did nothing but go for them. What amazes me is just how bad the script is and why Willis and Perry thought that they were going to do anything but shoot themselves in the foot for uttering one line of it. One last parting shot is that the film was obviously intended as another R rated feature because if you're not blind you could see them using the F word with their lips, but it didn't make it out of the sound-booth, and as for nudity, The Whole Ten Yards gives you a good ten seconds of Willis' ass! Goodnight, drive safely