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When A Stranger Calls (2006)

When A Stranger Calls
"I got worried, saw the front door open. Live next door, sorry to be nosy but did you invite that big, maniac-guy with the knife? Seems to be hiding?"

Starring:

Camilla Belle
other assorted talentless people

Released By:

Columbia

Released In:

2006

Rated:

PG-13

Reviewed By:

Sir Dizzy

Grade:

D-

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In a remote hilltop house, high school student Jill Johnson (Camilla Belle) settles in for a routine night of babysitting. With the children sound asleep and a beautiful home to explore, she locks the door and sets the alarm. But when a series of eerie phone calls from a stranger insist that she "check the children," Jill begins to panic. Fear escalates to terror when she has the calls traced and learns that they are coming from inside the house. Jill must summon all of her inner strength if she is going to fight back and make it out of the house alive. Cough cough, bullshit, cough cough.

I think somewhere in Hollywood, in a deep, dark basement with insufficient lighting and air, there are a group of studio executives green lighting films because they hate us as a movie going public. Despise us - live to see us suffer, you can almost hear their muffled laughter during the opening titles of this one. Maybe they're failed actors embittered by the fame that has eluded them who take fiendish delight in tormenting movies audiences, but its clear they are out to see us waste our money and walk away scratching our heads. I can't find any other plausible explanation (other than mountains of crack cocaine) as to why somewhere during the filming of this movie or maybe in post-production someone didn't push their pile of crack aside and say "wait a minute - this movie sucks."

Seriously, it's as if this film was made for fourteen year old girls who have never seen a horror or suspense movie in their life - or for that matter "the trailer." These diabolical purveyors of pap hate us so much they gave the whole film away in the preview trailer, they make it perfectly obvous that the villain is going to get inside the house which you probably could have guessed, unless you've recently began practicing for a new career as a brick juggler.

So we know the villain is going to end up in the house, yet we must endure an hour of so-called suspense where the movie tries to fool us into believing that the nasty old bogey man could never make it into a house with such a failsafe security system. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, but so is 2 hours and 8 bucks. I don't think I have ever seen a movie rip-off every single horror movie cliché before, but I think When a Stranger Calls pulls it off. Hide and Seek came close, but wow, to make a movie this inept you'd seriously have to be doing it on purpose - and trust me, this isn't a send-up.

First off, the lead character is jumpy and half scared out of her wits two minutes after arriving at the house? This is well before anything has happened, much less the first spooky phone call. She acts like like she might soil herself if the cat looks at her wrong. If you didn't feel insulted by this then you weren't paying attention. True another girl gets killed during this sequence, but that was for the audiences benefit - Camilla Belle doesn't know anything about this, but she must have read that part of the script because she just about jumps out of her panties every time she sees her own shadow - what the hell? And when will the people who create these d-grade slasher flicks stop telegraphing their punches - keying the music up right before you try and make me jump is like slapping me in the face then telling me I should like it. Enough already - whoever you are, its gotten ridiculous, its not scary, its not terrifying and you should be ashamed of yourself for fobbing this rubbish off on the movie-going public. Oh and by the way, brand new cars don't take 14 tries to start - it just doesn't happen - ever.

Lucky for us Camilla Belle is nineteen years old because she must have slept with someone to get this part, that or it has gotten way to easy to get movie parts in Hollywood nowadays. I have seen goldfish with better chops. As bad as Camilla is and she's bad, I don't think it was entirely her fault, so I am going to blame the director Simon West (who had to have smoked his share of the smack or crack or gack). His directing skills display all the subtlety of putting a thumbtack in the wall with a sledge hammer. I have never seen more heavy handed, obvious directing in my life and then he tries to pass this garbage off as suspense. Someone needs to be fired and if it seems I am being a little touchy today, that's because I am tired of Hollywood complaining about slumping box office numbers then taking piles of horse manure like this and dumping it on audiences. Show some creativity, give us some credit, I was offended by how bad this movie was and you should be too. It's no accident that 4 out of the 5 films up for best picture this year were made outside the studio system and the one that wasn't was Spielberg. Think.

Check out the Diz biz for all kinds of cool stuff at
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:: zBoneman.com Reader Comments ::

Adam

Adam

Sir Dizzy,

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Why? For reviewing this piece of crap so I didn't have to. Yes, I too saw When a Stranger Calls and I think I might have disliked it more than you. I agree with every point you make about this boring, uninspired crap-fest. What you did forget to mention is that this film is based on a picture from the late 70's starring Carol Kane (of Taxi fame) and veteran Charles Durning. That picture generated real tension in the first act and dared to go in an entirely different direction in it's final hour. This version simply expands the first act of that movie to ninety minutes and the end result is a thriller that telegraphs ever scare through endless hinting and a truly awful score that swells just as something is going to happen. And yes, the trailer gives everything away, so really--WHAT'S THE POINT OF SEEING THE DAMN THING!!!! Furthermore, the entire first hour of this movie is nothing more than shots of the lead character walking throughout the house so we the audience can get a grasp on how huge it is. As if we didn't already know. Or how about Simon West slyly showing us at the beginning of the film that our heroine is a track star. Thanks a lot Simon. So nice of you to fill in the blanks. When A Stranger Calls not only goes to the old "cat jumping on to the window sill" well too often. It actually commits the cardinal sin of showing us a cat jumping on to the window sill. TERRIBLE! I think the only part of your review that I don't agree with, is the point you make about the movie being made for fourteen year old girls who've never seen a thriller before. I carefully observed a group of tweeners in front of us as this boring movie rambled on and even they weren't buying it. Thank God. Maybe there is hope after all. Borrowing from the likes of Scream and Panic Room, When a Stranger Calls made me angry. This is an incompetent film on every level. This movie sickened me more than Hostel sickened you because it's so poorly executed, right down to that obvious dream sequence ending. Let this be proof to readers out there that Sir Dizzy and I do share a pure loathing for poorly made films. Avoid When a Stranger Calls at all cost. It isn't scary, it's just dull.

Jenny Stucki

Jenny Stucki

I 'm afraid to admit that I too wasted my money on this stinker, and you both hit the nail on the head (with a sledgehammer) the really scary thing about this film is that it was greenlighted. OOOOEEEEOOOO

MM

MM

I wonder if enough people signed a petition, if we could somehow prevent movies this lousy from ever being made, it's not enough to just say "there ought to be a law." We need to make a fucking law. Sign Here: Mark Mortenson,

Sir Dizzy

Sir Dizzy

One of the questions I always mull when I see movies this bad is who's to blame for this kind of garbage. Is it us an audience or is it the studio's and what can we do to get them to stop making movies like this. It's a very hard subject to tackle, I see a lot of movies that I know are going to be bad going in just so I can review them and keep people from seeing them. But can we just avoid all bad movies, no its an impossible feat if you are like me and love movies and enjoy the occasional popcorn flick as much a more independent movie.

This subject was brought up last year when Deuce Bigalow: Euorpean Gigolo was released and my favorite movie review I have ever read was done by Roger Ebert.

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050811/REVIEWS/50725001/1023

With my favorite quote I have ever read in a review:

"As chance would have it, I have won the Pulitzer Prize, and so I am qualified. Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Shneider, your movie sucks."

That quote and that review actually kept me from going to see the movies in theatres (I have since seen it on dvd, but I don't pay anything to see movies on DVD as a benifiet of my job so Columbia and Rob got zero dollars of my hard earned cash). Ebert was right and Goldstien was right it is a shame that studios, Columbia Pictures in this case pass on wonderful movies to make garbage like Deuce Bigalo. And does it pay off no, it doesn't or not all the time at least. The sequel to Deuce made 22 million dollars while the Aviator made 102, Ray made 75, Finding Neverland made 51, Million Dollar Baby 100 and Sideways made 71. How's that a snub for Columbia Pictures who decided to make crap and lost money on it. See we as an audience have power, if you are questionable on a movie go to a reviewer you trust and listen to their opinion, If you agree with Adam on most reviews or me for that matter and we say skip the movie, skip it because it will insure the studios stop making garbage like this.

If you are from Southern Utah, TJ and Westates theatres do a fantastic job at making sure we have a wide selection of movies to see. I saw the Squid and the Whale tonight and was alone in the theatres. We have had Capote, Good Night and Good Luck, Brokeback Mountain, The Matador and are getting the World's Fastest Indian on Friday. There are more selections than just what mainstream Hollywood throws at us. Go to http://www.apple.com/trailers/ and watch some trailers before you head out and check out Red Cliffs theatres are local indy movie house now.

Stanford Wells

Stanford Wells

Just so you ignorant assholes know Camilla Belle held her own up against Daniel Day Lewis and Catherine Keener in the ballad of Jack and Rose - some critics have said she steals the film. That's who she is, maybe you ought to do a little research before you make fools of yourselves. Dizzy I'd fucking say.

Boneman

Boneman

I've seen the film to which you refer and agree wholeheartedly. Still that doesn't make this film any less worthless and her choice of taking the part any less disheartening. Relax Stanford, have freakin beer or something.

sirdizzy

sirdizzy

When this is the first film I have seen Camilla Belle in and she is downright horrible in the movie I honestly don't care if she was good in another movie because by this performance alone the first I have seen her she needs to be run out of Hollywood. There is no excuse for taking a bad role, it ruins careers and she is not forgiven for this movie just because she was good in another movie.

Take for example Matt Dillon who is up for an Oscar for Crash, I saw Herbie Fully Loaded which is a cute movie but far from anything great first and Crash second. Herbie ruined some of Dillon's performace in Crash for me because I couldn't get the overacting silly villain he played in Herbie out of my mind when I saw him in Crash.

This is important to remember, Camilla Belle to me until I see her in something of value is a terrible actress because I saw her in When a Stranger Calls.

SW

SW

That's swell that you can so eloquently defend your remarks, but as you can read above you didn't just impune her ability as an actress, but you accused her of fornicating her way into this role - come on man, just say you stuck your foot in your mouth and I'll leave it alone.

sirdizzy

sirdizzy

I don't think my remarks need to be defended the only movie I have see Camilla Belle in is When a Stranger calls so from what I have seen her in, I honestly think she must have slept with someone to get that role and not get fired from it when it became obvious she was horrible in it. Simple as that, I am saying maybe I can see her in something else and just forget When a Stranger Calls but until I do, I think shes a horrible actress.

Jo

Jo

....So we weren't even watching the same movie?

I disliked it the first time. Liked it OK the second. Really was quite fond of it the third. It's one of those movies that you have to watch a few times to get better. You learn something new each time you watch it, which I love. But like with Shyamanlan and Hitchcock movies it isn't for those with the attention span of a hyperactive hummingbird (like some people here). It is NOT for those who hate to have to think when they watch a movie. So, like in the movie, on this page you also get to learn that some of you hate thinking.

And I always have to laugh whenever I hear someone try to tear down Camilla's acting, and double over when they try to insinuate she somehow screwed her way into movies. Sorry. No. If you prefer the embarrassing and hyper-exaggerated "acting" of, say, Emma Watson, then yeah, Ms Belle's calm and understated style is not for you. But to say she slept with the director is not only childish and weak criticism but unoriginal to boot.

And you admit you've only seen this ONE movie of her's?! Dude, you are so far from being entitled to negatively criticize her acting it's not even funny.

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