In an effort to get some control over illegal piracy, the music business has resorted to some medieval techniques. The Boneman told me when he got the promo for the new Jimmy Eat World, it plainly stated that if you tried to duplicate this CD - your computer will explode, your dog will die and your wife will leave you for a semi-pro hockey player. So at least I knew such evil existed. But the promo for Aiden carried no such warnings and just like any other promo I popped it in my computer and instantly my monitor went on some kind of bad acid trip. I fully expected springs to come boinging out the side. It started to make that "eeeeuuuu, eeeeeuuuuu" noise ususally associated with the evacuation of a nuclear power facility that's in advanced meltdown. "Holy Judgment Day, Batman this thing is ripping my computer a new asshole." My shit froze immediately and threw a window up saying I had only moments to live unless I (a). converted to Scientology or (b) made 10 public appearances where I extolled the virtues of Battlefield Earth with a bullhorn or P.A. dressed like John Travolta. As precious seconds ticked by, I panicked and ejected the thing like a normal guy would. yet the cryptic pop-up returned again and again. "Screw you Tom Cruise," I was thinking when I struck back with my best counter attack "Ctrl-Alt-Delete" "Ctrl-Alt-Delete" "Ctrl-Alt-Delete" "Ctrl-Alt-Delete" "Ctrl-Alt-Delete" "Ctrl-Alt-Delete" "Ctrl-Alt-Delete" Oh my god they had me, the Godless commie clones had got me in their gay little clutches. You're not gonna take me that easy Jerry Maguire, I screamed hysterically before I ripped my whole power strip out of the wall. Which in retrospect might have been an overreaction. Once I'd ejected the death disc from my computer it worked just fine in my CD player.

Thus I write this review with sort of a micro-chip on my shoulder - which should be factored into the remainder of this discourse. I think the line: "You sink your teeth in. bite the blood that drains the life inside…" pretty much sums up how I feel about these makeup wearing fruits. These guys are either trying to be like that goofball singer from Bicurious Bromance or they are all getting their Tammy Faye costumes tuned up for the Hot Topic Halloween contest. It's not that these guys can't rock, but the lyrics and the femmy get-ups don't fit the music. Standard screamo riffs perk up my attention like a snail rolling over a hit of acid in your organic hippie garden. Can you say fucking carbon copy? To add to the gnarly agrotron, every song ends with a terrifying jun-dun courtesy of Angel (not kidding!) and or Jake W on la Guitara. "The Last Sunrise." Looks to be the obvious choice for a first single - honestly, no bigwig record label scout would dare pass this androgynous creature core anthem up. This is what I got out of "Genetic Design For Dying" "I hate my parents and I run away to my nappy, gothic, emo girlfriend's house to be weekend alcoholics listening to Bright Eyes and maybe trade in my car for a Vespa and finally get a job at the record store!" But that's just me y'know?

They sing about depressing love shit and problems with girls - but do you honestly think that these dudes have ever had any type of relationship with the opposite sex. I mean have you seen em? I wouldn't be surprised if these guys made out on stage with each other. I'm not a homophobe but who really wants to see that…really…. come on, Gothic emo kids probably screw to this shite. Cutting edge influenzas like My Chemical!, The Used, and 18 Visions have their steeleo ripped away by these bros and I even bet Trent Reznor is pissed about that intro on "This City is Far From Here."

"I set my friends on fire, I've think I've lost control." No shit. I think you've lost more than your control, how about your ability to come up with a decent metaphor for self destruction. It might be one of these: a little too gothy, over the top, or spooky for me. But in the end the only thing left on my mind is not what kinds of goofy vampire shit these guys practice on each other, but more who does their hair - because my pet muskrat desperately needs a make over. I listened to it a few more times with my "bad ass guitar dude" roommate and he told me that "The shit is all right, but it probably won't be on the O.C. or anything."