Warning! Extremely hard, abrasive, and powerfully disturbing metal, if you are a pussy put the disc back on the rack and slowly step away. In this review I will not use a lame Alaska play on words - to describe the bands vast, chilling expanses - everyone else out there already beat that cheese into the frozen tundra. On the other hand I can see why others are saying that, after listening to Alaska, BTBAM's third album, I told myself, "Whoa, we onto some next level shit here." At first when I saw the Victory logo I was already over it. "Ah great more girl pants and black finger nail polish," I told myself. But no, these guys fucked me up like the Boneman on an editing Jihad. I put it on my I-Zod and walked down the street picking fights and stealing cops' guns and shit, I was bad to the bone. And getting in my way was utter foolsplay.

First I picked up on Blake Richardson's frenzied drumming. This dude must have a Mountain Dew pump at the base of his brain to blast out extreme shit like this. All members are fast as fuck, piss and vinegar filled, and excel highly at evoking stoke. Guitarists Paul Waggoner and Dusty Waring take the Run-dun-judda-judda…jun-jun" technique and mold it into a sound of a rapid-fire maelstrom of riffs the Boneman would cream himself over. Even "Badass guitar dude" said nothing but had a look of amazement on his face.

Lyrically, Tommy "Giles" Rogers words abound in profoundness and creativity although the course nature of his vocal range sounds something like that of an Orc trying to take an ESL course (even with the help of the lyric page it's nearly impossible to follow the bouncing ball). Nevertheless his primal scream simply silences poseurs and dickheads the world over. "Croakies and Boat Shoes" an anti-elitist anthem boasting such daring lines, "Dude…brah…let's go party tonight…maybe start another goddamn fight…but it's all right…my coach knows the sheriff." Even if this album sucked I would still love it since they used some dude-bro references. On the opener "All bodies" Rogers digs down deep into his metal heritage forming the totally metal lyric, "We are just mortal souls…left to die." The saga of Alaska continues from "All bodies" into the severally complex world of "Between the Buried and Me" taking a break for a second on an interlude for track five then rips right back into "Roboturner" like a dull chainsaw through a rotten chest cavity. They should change this title to "Rototiller" since the creepy, crawling, buzzsaw vibration loosened up some bloody vomit in my stomach.

Here's an interesting side note, throughout the album and mostly on "Roboturner" Rogers tells us how bad robots and technology is; yet his side project is Giles - a synth powered emo fag dance hall group in which he seems very content to be rollicking about on the other side of the fence. Whatever, even the Boneman writes as a bitch sometimes.

I suppose there's some sort of inside joke or hilarious irony involved - whatever, just thought I'd throw that out there. Alaska ends with the third instrumental "Laser Speed" which to me anyway is a long lost Jimmy Buffet song or even has a Billy Joel "New York State of Mind" lump in the pants - no joke. This album is just fucking brilliantly awesome. It's a metal masterpiece. In a way it's like danceable metal without the operatic shit or Dead to Fall times 10 if you can picture that.