What the f**k is happening in music right now? Honestly, the bullshit rumors people and magazines spread around of bands and albums allegedly being "great" or "highly anticipated" are enough to boggle the mind. And Jeemeny Christ all friday here is another one of these bands to add on. You know I really wanted to like this album and this band. Judging from Every Time I Die's interviews in such rags as Decibel and Wonka Vision they sounded like a swell bunch of kids. Even Glassjaw gone Head Automatica singer Daryl Palumbo helped out a little here so how bad could it suck - right? Well it sucks all right . . . thanks to an all too common problem . . . lame ass singers. These guys need to get rid of Keith Buckley and get a new singer . . . either that or go all instrumental.

I bet you're wondering if I've even listened to their other two albums right (Last Night in Town and Hot Damn!)? Well, no. Will I ever after hearing this…maybe. Do I want to listen to Gutter Phenomenon again…fuck no! I did however speak with a die-hard fan of the band that does in fact own the older albums and she told me that it was "way different." The singer got professional screaming lessons for fuck's sake! I really feel sorry for the other dudes in this band and I really feel bad saying this but Gutter Phenomenon sucks ass, there's just no two ways about it. All the musicians are good and rocked it hard, but it all comes back to that f**king godawful "vocalist." His singing is just nauseating. This combo of chaotic tempos and Buckley's bi-polar screamo scream makes it impossible for one to handle even after you violently throw up and dry heave like you had the harsh stoney beer spins.

Every Time I Die was hoping to reach that apex where an "anticipated album" actually becomes a great one, but missed the mark so laughably that it reminded me of Will Ferrell's fat ass in a mascot suit trying to jump through a flaming metal ring. The best thing I can say about Gutter Phenomenon is that it's probably what chicks listen to when they feel like being bitches. Hey did you read that right? I pretty much said that this is bitch music, but don't thank me, thank the singer.

Whirlybird tempos feel like a sketchy carnival ride in Shitsville with some coked-out clown screaming in the language of a nightmare. This amplified with dude bro's faux-hawk makes for something I like to call, trade-in time at the CD exchange. Like As Friends Rust once said, "More than just music, it's a hairstyle." Basically what we have here fellas is a case of involuntary fashioncore, pressured by the almighty "Next Big Thing" expectation - followed by the "did not deliver on this album" type of reality. Jesus, someone get me a fucking cigarette.