First off don't ask me why a hard ass like myself would want to go to this concert. I didn't really feel like getting all bromantic and shit. Adam Mast and Bonethug twisted my leg into going along with a couple others local notables, including the illustrious Laura Hunt and her posse. The drive down was nice due to the desperate act of pipe cleaning and resin toking right before I left my house. As a fun way to kill two hours before the show we all decided to check out the king of subtle humor, Bill Murray's new movie, Broken Flowers. It was a nice flick that had laughs, romance and things that made you sad. All these things in the movie were nice, but it was the tranny-granny sitting behind us with a man voice that was most entertaining. Bonethugs gave it his best effort, but was unable to wrangle that one in. Better luck next time Dawg. Next stop on the list was a mandatory beer run.

We hit up the 7-11 and got a large assortment of domestic brews. As sly as he is, Bonethugs secretly poured his beer into a cup so he could get his swerve on beforehand and in the process making Adam say "yeah, that's okay I guess, but just don't spill it" Adam was in such an effusive mood that he even let me get away with the movie cup method. I held on to it tight and shared it with the rest of the crew. I held it until we came to a dead stop on the strip for like five minutes. Ever so foolishly I let the cup of barley and hop sqeezins rest alone on the middle console, just as Adam decided to test his Odyssey's 0-60 acceleration which built up a harsh level of inertia and sent my Natty flying into a golden shower all over Laura Hunt's lower region. Yes I felt bad and retarded but I was really proud of Adam for not completely freaking out - you have to remember that this is a new automobile and his wife is ultraMormon, so I've got to hand it to Adam for not beating me about the head and chest. When we got to the Hard Rock I hauled ass into the bathroom and grabbed 300 feet of industrial paper towels and flew back out to the van before the smooth rich flavor of Natural Light was a permanent selling point of Adam's van.

Finally (FUCK!), after sweating bullets cleaning that shit we ran in to catch the show. Ben Lee was playing when we arrived and the only thing I can really remember about his set was how fucking big his dome was and raising an eye at his white boy Afro. We said, "Screw this guy" and went to get some overpriced microwave dinner at the one of the Hard Rock's cafes. Next stop, Ben Folds. I don't know shit about this dork other than the "Brick" song, but was entertained by his piano chops and hummable tunes. Him and his lumberjack bass player really showed me how great a Dr. Dre song can sound set to a mellow mid-tempo piano ballad, with three white dudes singing----props to those guys. The crowd ate it up.

Oh shit headliner time! Rufus was the next act up and once again I don't know jack shit about him or do I really care about singer songwriter adult contemporary stuff. Yet I was patient and had an open mind with his music. This guy looks like Willem Dafoe, sings really hard and slow and talks with the same macho tone as Richard Simmons. I will say he can croon the shit out of a ballad, but as the show literally dragged on I looked around and noticed that 90 percent of those present were of the dude persuasion. "Hmmm, whatever" I told myself and went back to watching Rufus. Then I looked around again and these same dudes with their popped-up collar Banana Republic gear began to hold each other and sway to the music in ways God may not have intended. Whatever - to each his bone. But it did explain why so many dudes were lurking in the restroom trying to snatch a glance at my award-winning pocket-fisherman. I guess if you have to take in a night of gay love making music - you might as well do it with the Boneman. We left that concert feeling alive and flamboyant - ready to eat up the town with some absolutely fantastic scarf shopping. Got me a beauty. Paisley with kind of a peacock feather batting. I've been using it as corollary support to my nights of self love and I should say it's come in handy more than once when my Kleenex box suddenly ran out.