Wallowing in obscurity can sometimes be a bitch. Especially when you're four guys from New York called The Mooney Suzuki and you want more than anything to be the biggest rock band in the world. Mooney's first two albums, People Get Ready and Electric Sweat, were great slices of garage rock blood, sweat and tears, and their live shows were some of the greatest rock n' roll moments I've ever been privileged to witness. But as I mentioned, obscurity can be a bitch for those who want more than anything to taste the nectar of the big-time. They've done Nike commercials, helped the kids in Jack Black's School Of Rock look the part of a real band, and even had a cameo in the movie. What else do these guys have to do for you (the buying public) to stand up and take notice?

Enter The Matrix. The life sucking, soul sucking, originality sucking, plain ass shit sucking production team that Avril Lavigne and Liz Phair hired/sold their souls to the devil to, to make them radio/VH1 darlings. The Matrix were hired on by The Mooney Suzuki to make their garage rock a little more radio friendly and VH-wonderful, so they could finally attain their dream of Rock Godhead. I hate to be the one to break it to the fellas, but somebody's gotta tell them that they shit and stepped in it. Not only does Alive & Amplified lack the ferocity of their first two releases, but it's even fairly tepid stuff compared to the watered down commercialized radio slush-rock that it's up against. "Primitive Condition," "Legal High," "Shake That Bush Again," "Loose 'N' Juicy," "Hot Sugar," and "Naked Lady" are all phony lame ass rock poseur songs that scream 'Hack!' It's like they nicked everybody from Hendrix, to the Stones, even Thin Lizzy. "Sometimes Somethin'" is the most note for note rip off of The Rolling Stones "You Can't Always Get What You Want" possibly ever created. And how ironic is that considering the purpose of this misbegotten release? The only great song on Alive & Amplified is the self titled track, and even that gets bogged down near the end by The Matrix's perfect sixth sense of being able to take a good thing and absolutely ruin it with style over substance production. Welcome to the gates of rock n' roll hell gentlemen, I hope selling your souls ends up being worth it. Keep a seat warm for Liz.