78th Annual Academy Awards Broadcast Direct From Dullsville

Charlize Theron shocked the Fashionista by revealing her controversial "shoulder-high colostomy bag" look - Bravo!!

OSCAR! OSCAR! OSCAR!

Dull! Dull! Dull! Don't get me wrong. I had a fun time watching the Oscar telecast, but most of the true entertainment was provided by the guests who attended my Annual Oscar bash (i.e. The Boneman, The Weaver, Mr. Sanders etc.). Jon Stewart did an admirable job with hosting duties although he did shy away from pushing the proverbial envelope. While he certainly is no Billy Crystal (or Steve Martin for that matter) I thought he faired better than Chris Rock. As expected, Brokeback Mountain provided much comical inspiration throughout the course of the evening. The highlight came in the form of a drop dead hilarious montage of old school westerns each brimming with homosexual innuendo. "Look at the size of my gun!" etc. Very funny stuff. As for the awards themselves, there really weren't many surprises (I predicted 18 out of the 24 winners) save for Best Picture going to Crash. After Ang Lee took home Best Director, it was assumed that his Brokeback Mountain would win Best Picture as well. What did I think of the upset? Well, those who follow our happy little web site know that I had Crash at number 2 on my best of 2005 list, so I was really happy for Paul Haggis and crew. Strangely enough, most of the other sites that I love to visit, weren't particularly kind to the film.

Harry Knowles over at Aint-it-cool-news.com found the movie overrated (specifically, he thought it had good moments, but overall he just thought that it was a good film) while his partner in crime Moriarty was dreading the idea of Paul Haggis accepting any kind of award for the picture. Dave over at chud.com called Crash's screenplay (also a winner) undeserving and completely derivative, and also went so far as to suggest Congo offered up better writing. Funny Dave, but completely ridiculous. Garth over at darkhorizons.com felt Brokeback Mountain was cheated out of the win as many did. While he liked the movie he was clearly more passionate about Ang Lee's picture. Our good friends at thehollywoodnews.com have been big supporters of Crash, and I'm certain they're happy with the win. While I haven't read veteran Roger Ebert's response, I'm sure he's as happy as a little girl, because Crash was his favorite film of 2005.

Again, as far as I'm concerned, the best film did in fact win, and keep in mind I championed all the nominees. All five nominated films were exceptional works in my book, but Crash moved me the most. Yes, it offers up heavy handed moments, and I can understand the gripes about the intersecting plot gimmick, but the bottom line is, the film moved me. It had a lot to say, and it spoke to me. I was affected by it. For those who proclaim the movie racist (i.e. "Why is Thandie Newton constantly the victim in this piece?"), I suppose you saw a different movie than I did. At it's core, this is one of the strongest films I've ever seen about race and one's perception of race (I even prefer it to Spike Lee's provocative and challenging Do the Right Thing). I've debated Crash endlessly with colleagues and friends alike and I've heard all the arguments. None of them however, sway my opinion of this heartfelt film. I know many of you out there think the movie is shit but you know what they say; "One man's shit is another man's Chevy." The Boneman who was hoping for a darkhorse win from his favorite of the year - Capote, was pissing and moaning about Crash calling it "riddled with contrivance"but when I challenged him to name a better film that takes on the issue of race relations, he had to resort to humor, with deadpan conviction he replied "Freedomland."

As for the rest of the evening, I'd say the only other real surprise was a much deserved win for Best Original Song. The award went to "It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp" from the absorbing and energetic pimp turn hip hopster underdog tale Hustle and Flow. I can't tell you how happy that made me. It really deserved the win, because that song in particular did a better job of representing it's respective tale than the other two nominees. It's also provided Jon Stewart with, perhaps, his best joke of the night. After rap group Three Six Mafia received their award in lively fashion, Stewart was quick to point out a staggering Oscar stat; "Martin Scorsese, 0, Three Six Mafia, 1". Another highlight of the evening came in the form of a tribute to the legendary Robert Altman, although it bugged me that there weren't more Popeye clips. Screw all you Popeye bashers. It's a great movie. Also touching was the tribute to those performers who passed away, although Dennis Weaver, Don Knotts and Darren McGavin weren't on the list most likely because they passed away after the retrospective was already put together. Overall, this year's Oscar telecast offered up very few surprises. This was a safe show, and for the most part, the Academy gave a little something to everyone save for Steven Spielberg who was all but shut out. War of the Worlds went home empty handed (no surprise there-despite it's box office success and amazing technical achievements, most folks didn't care for the film) as did the absorbing and profound Munich, which many proclaim to be Spielberg's finest hour as a film maker. George Clooney's intimate Good Night and Good Luck also went home empty handed, but the ex-E.R. star did take home a statue for his amazing turn in Syriana. Finally, no love for Cinderella Man most likely because of Russell Crowe's off screen antics and a backlash from all those who thought A Beautiful Mind was undeserving of the gold back in 2001. Personally, I thought A Beautiful Mind was a terrific picture. Anyway, here's a run down of the winners.

BEST ACTOR
Phillip Seymour Hoffman - CAPOTE

While I was rooting for Terrence Howard, I can't deny the sheer power of Hoffman's turn. Truly great work. Had Joaquin Phoenix or Heath Ledger been nominated in different years, they probably would have won. David Strathairn was solid and has certainly paid his dues, but there were actors more worthy of that nom (Russell Crowe for one). Hoffman's speech was touching. No matter how many times I see a performer thank their mom, it gets me every time.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
George Clooney-SYRIANA

Clooney deserved it, if for no other reason than his willingness to shed his sexiest man alive image. Beyond that, it's just a stunning performance. Extra props for the class factor. Clooney is old school through and through, and he gave one of the best acceptance speeches of the night. He was both funny and charming.

BEST ACTRESS
Reese Witherspoon-WALK THE LINE

I must confess, I didn't see Mrs. Henderson Presents or Transamerica, but all eyes were on Felicity Huffman and Reese Witherspoon. Based on what I did see, I think Witherspoon deserved the win. It's refreshing that this year's best actress winner didn't rely on playing the dysfunctional card. Witherspoon is delightful and I rank her turn in Walk the Line alongside Election her very best work. A very sweet acceptance speech and cheers to the Academy for not cutting her off for going a little too long.

SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Rachel Weisz-THE CONSTANT GARDENER

Of the nominees, Amy Adams' performance was the only one I didn't get to see. Of the four who remain, Weisz would have been my choice. This is clearly the most complex character of the bunch, and Weisz's portrayal in this intricate, subtle film is the anchor. Amazing work.

ANIMATED FEATURE
WALLACE AND GROMIT IN THE CURSE OF THE WERE RABBIT

YES! I'm so glad this delightful romp from Nick Park took home the prize. Again, not surprising especially considering all the Wallace and Gromit shorts also won Oscars. Regardless, this flick deserved the win.

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
MARCH OF THE PENGUINS

Again, no surprise. March of the Penguins was the most celebrated documentary of the year, although Murderball is more meaningful. For whatever reason, Grizzly Man didn't make the cut while 2005's best movie, the moving New York Doll, went virtually unseen. Still, March of the Penguins is a majestic motion picture. Terrific work.

ORIGINAL SONG
IT'S HARD OUT HERE FOR A PIMP

Cheers to Three Six Mafia for the strongest musical performance of the evening. I didn't expect this to win the Oscar, but I'm happy that it did. This song truly captures the essence of the film that it's representing.

ORIGINAL SCORE
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

Beautiful score, but my heart goes out to veteran John Williams whose Memoirs of a Geisha deserved the win. His being nominated for Munich in the same category (and the fact that he's won numerous times already) probably hurt his chances. Props to this amazing composer. Special side note; Williams scored five films in 2005 - Munich, Memoirs of a Geisha, War of the Worlds, Harry Potter, Goblet of Fire and Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. An amazing career.

VISUAL EFFECTS
KING KONG

Kong was the rightful winner particularly given the number of effects shots in that film. War of the Worlds was also outstanding, but not a Kong sized undertaking. I still feel George Lucas was slapped in the face. His Episode III should have at least been nominated. This guy has done more for the special effects industry than anyone.

CINEMATOGRAPHY
MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA

Unfortunately, I didn't see Memoirs of a Geisha, but I've been told that the cinematography is stunning. I really thought Brokeback Mountain would take the award, but I would have voted for the little seen The New World. Simply breathtaking camera work. It made the whole movie.

FILM EDITING
CRASH

This was a no-brainer in my book. Often, the editing award goes to bigger, epic scale pictures, but the editing was an integral part of Crash's effectiveness. The same could be said for the underrated Constant Gardener, but Crash was more deserving.

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
CRASH

I'm sure Crash haters everywhere are pissed at the world. Quite frankly, I could care less. Paul Haggis' tale of lives intersecting in Los Angeles is heartfelt and moving, but mostly, it's relevant. You have to love a movie that gets people talking. Crash is one of those movies.

SCREENPLAY ADAPTATION
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

No surprise here. Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana took E. Annie Proulx's short story and expanded into an absorbing feature. A wonderful piece that isn't really a gay love story. It's just a love story. Like Crash, Brokeback Mountain has taken quite a bit of heat particularly from conservatives. I'll put it in the most simple of terms. If you don't like it, don't watch it. I do find it humorous that many of the people bitching about this movie not only haven't seen it, but many of them tune in to Will and Grace every Thursday night. Having said that, I would have voted for the challenging Munich. The Boneman was pulling for the stellar Capote. Again, all of these nominees were completely worthy of the win.

DIRECTOR
Ang Lee-BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

Ang Lee has proven to be one of our most versatile directors and don't think anyone was surprised that he won. His Brokeback Mountain is passionate and provocative, and he handles the touchy subject matter with true finesse. As much as I liked Brokeback Mountain, I would have voted for Steven Spielberg for fashioning the most mature work of his career, or Paul Haggis for directing what I still feel is the strongest film of the lot.

BEST PICTURE
CRASH

When Ang Lee took home the Directing prize, I think everyone pretty much assumed Brokeback mountain would win Best Picture. I know I did. To my surprise (and delight), Crash took home the gold. This is one of those things movie fans will debate until the end of time. It will go down in infamy with the likes of other films (i.e. Driving Miss Daisy, Rocky) that are considered unworthy of the gold. Personally, I wouldn't put Crash in the same league as those other films. It deserved the win, and I really believe this will be one of those pictures that is talked about ten years from now. Maybe not in the same way as Schindler's List but certainly more than Chicago. On a little side note, The Boneman was rooting for a dark horse victory from the exceptional Capote. A great movie to be sure, but I'm still happy for Haggis and company.

OTHER WINS

ART DIRECTION
MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA

MAKE-UP
THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBE

SOUND MIXING
KING KONG

SOUND EDITING
KING KONG

SHORT FILM-LIVE ACTION
SIX SHOOTER

SHORT FILM-ANIMATED
THE MOON AND THE SON: AN IMAGINED CONVERSATION

DOCUMENTARY-SHORT
A NOTE OF TRIUMPH: THE GOLDEN AGE OF NORMAN CORWIN