Comic-Con - Bone's First Massive Report

A Horses Ass and the Rump of a Big Tan Beast.

I'm gonna top off the tank by runnin' this Bladerunner stuff to you. The panel put together a great show and the mountain of goodies they're hooking us up with for this special DVD package is just too juicy. Check it in.

Next up was a truly inspiring panel celebrating the 25th anniversary of Blade Runner. Not being a Star Wars nut, I can say with not even the slightest degree of doubt that Blade Runner is my all time favorite Sci Fi film. The film came out during a point in history where only say 1 household out of 50 owned a VCR, a scenario exacerbated terribly by the whole VHS vs Beta Max war. I knew this guy who invested practically every dime he owned into Beta Max stock and when the dust finally settled he was financially ruined and suicidal. Fortunately the story has a happy ending, rather than killing himself, he killed a guy who bore a strong resemblance to him. Everybody said the guy was a dead ringer. Anyway my point is there was no such thing as waiting for Video if you wanted to see a movie repeatedly, So I paid to see it 6 nights in a row back to back.

There's this particular scene in the film – one that few have probably studied with anywhere near the same obsession as myself. It moved me, at a level so deeply soular that I suspected the existence of some sort of personal Marianna Trench. It's the scene when Deckard returns home after a real bad day at the office to find Rachael (Sean Young) is sitting at the piano playing kind of a simple melody. She's liberated her jet black locks from the tight, business up-do and it frames her pale beauty with cascades of loose ringlet curls. As she accepts a chaste kiss on the cheek from Deckard her piano part morphs into that haunting Vangelis sequence with the saxophone carrying the fall of that powerfully melancholy line. I came back five nights running trying to suss out how he manages to get that last strain to resolve and yet remain partially unresolved. It remains to this day the only piece of sheet music I've ever purchased.

On hand to discuss the film and the "5 CD" 25th Anniversary mega-package was a lively Ridley Scott, Sean Young, Joanna Cassidy, Joe Turkel, James Hong, Futurist Art Consultant/set design Sid Mead, Lawrence Paull, (production designer) and Charles De Lauzirika (DVD Package Rep) Actually this last fellow did a lot of the talking because he was largely responsible for putting together the truly awesome 5 Disk package. Included is a 3 ½ hour Documentary on the making of the film, called Dangerous Days, which he promised is a fascinating warts and all chronicling of the shoot – complete with outtaker reels, on set footage, deleted scenes, pretty much the whole bloody story from soup to nuts as he put it.

Right away a fan asked if one of the five disks would be the fan-fave Work Print? That's an affirmative (and will contain no digital cheating).

A fan asked Ridley what it takes to make it as a diretor to shich the healthy looking (Don Henley twin replied "Try, try, try, try, try try – every day, as hard as you can." Scott also waxed on about not having scene the film for several years, but when he started getting E-mails about the many surprises where being bandied about for the 25th Anniversary DVD set he figured he better watch it again, and his opinion is that the film still holds up. Which was seconded by the crowd and the panel as well.

James Hong was a hysterical presence thoughout the Con. When asked what he was working on, he deadpanned his old bit from BR "I Sorry, I just Do Eyes." The man is a walking comedy machine stealing the laughs on this panel but for every panel he was on, including the Balls of Fury Panel for which his role is key to the films success. I wish I had room for every one of his anecdotes.

Everyone was eager to vocalize their praise for what they all consider to be the most special film they've ever worked on. A fan aske Sean (not so) Young if she could share an experience and she simply said there were too may to pick from, to her it's just a big blur of Ridley's genius. Joanna Cassidy asked the same question got a laugh when she simply stated, "I had a snake." One interesting tidbit, is that there has always been a complaint associated with her death chase with Ford, because there is a sequence when there is an obvious body double who takes her face plant. Recently, they've went back and shot the whole thing over with Joanna taking her own header. By the way, she happens to resemble a million books and is in mid-season form, she literally appears as if she's spent the last 25 years having a cryogenic nap. Good for her.

The funiest anecdote that the panel shared revolved around the most famous kiss in sci-fi history. Roy (Rutger Hauer), the head of the Rogue replicants and Pris (Darryl Hannah) his lone comptriot (infiltrate the Tyrell Corp – looking to meet his maker and see about extending their termination encoding, there's a particularly intense scene where Rutger gets in Tyrell's (Joe Turkel's) face and either before or after he implores "I want more life, fucker." He plants a pretty juicy kiss on Turkel. Turkel tells the story, claiming that since he'd never kissed a man prior to this and that the scene called for passion his instinct was to slip Rutger the tongue. Suffice to say that JT was known as the Tongue for the rest of the shoot. Affectionately, of course. Next up was a Star Wars thing that was pretty cool but I think I'll wait and see if Adam wants to do it.

Warner Bros. in the Great Hall H

H must stand for Huge, because the big hall contains 7000 seats and by dint of sleeping in line and waiting something like 6 hours, our seat was right down front. Feeling strangely fine I licked the tip of my crack and penciled open my notebook. First up on the morning's docket was a presentation by Warner Brothers.

Get Smart

I'm one of the few human beings I know that actually watched the hilarious TV series during its original run. Since then thousands of people have become huge fans watching syndicated re-runs and pubic hair has grown all around my genitalia. Still I like to keep it trimmed somewhat neat for reasons I am not at liberty to divulge. Get Smart offered a great panel of luminaries from stars Steve Carell, the Rock, Nate Torrence and Heroes Masi Oka and last but not least Borat's sidekick (backsidekiss) Ken Davitian. Both Ken and Masi drew huge love from the 7000 plus on hand. Director Pete Segal was introduced and the panel bandied about a private joke involving Segal's nickname "Big Pete." All were tight lipped about the nickname, but for a seasoned reporter such as myself, sniffing out a large penis is childs play.

The panel spoke reverently of the original which of course featured the brilliant Don Adams and Barbara Feldon, its creator Mel Brooks and head writer Buck Henry. And Carrel spoke at length about the honor of stepping into Don Adams telephone shoes. He went on to say that Adams was one of the pioneers of dead pan delivery which, Carrel said makes it easy, you just have to play everything straight and it all falls into place. The Rock was animated and seemed delighted to be involved goofing it up with Ken Davitian, saying he would smooch his big hairy ass any day of the week. The clip they showed demonstrated that the film intends to be as true to the spirit of the TV classic with a little extra action for good measure. Carrel described the film as the comedic Bourne Identity. Missing from the panel was the true architect of deadpan delivery Alan Arkin who will stand in for Edward Platt as the chief. If his performance is anything like his "time capsule worthy" performance as the chief in So I Married An Axe Murderer we should be in for a rare treat. Also absent were Terrence Stamp and Anne Hathaway who will have the daunting task of recreating Barbara Feldon's leggy and languorous 99. Hathaway is the obvious casting risk here, but she seems to rise to most challenges. Look for it next summer June 20th.

Invasion

Next up was the panel for the latest re-imagining of Invasion of the body snatchers, Invasion,. This new version is a Joel Silver production and stars Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig – speaking of spies. Silver was the lone representative of the film and as Silver has such a checkered reputation with movie fans his welcome was tempered by a bit of murmuring. Silver did little but introduce the extended featurette and when Nicole Kidman appeared on screen a palpable gasp arose from the crowd. Evidently her willingness to adapt to the ways of new husband Keith Urban may have gone one step too far. Personally I thought she looked pleasantly rugged with a full beard and mustache, but her new facial hair certainly brought about a mixed response from the 7000 on hand. In the role of a single parent who must contend with a world gone mad her new beard lent her an air of masculinity that befits a single parent, on the other hand some may find the facial hair a distraction from her much-beloved classic features.

The premise of this body-snatching go-round finds the space shuttle crashing to earth and soon those who must investigate the wreckage start behaving strangely – tap dancing to their own harmonica accompaniment in church, shaving all of their hair except for a thin ring around their left ear. Alright enough with the jocularity, but we all agreed Kidman looked strange, as though she were still recovering from a major plasic surgery session. The footage proved to be mostly intriguing (it's clear that the film will rely heavily on the sort of new-fangled jump-cut cinematography that we've been besieged with since The Ring) but if its held in check its possible that this Invasion may well be a welcome addition to the much beloved tale. It will be along shortly on August 17th.

One Missed Call

This supernatural thriller stars Edward Burns and Shannyn Sossaman in a creepy story that smacks of the above mentioned The Ring. The unfortunates in this mystery miss a call on their cell phone and when they play the message back they basically hear the last frantic moments of their own "just got murdered" lives. I would guess that Shannyn and Ed are thusly rung up and must puzzle out and prevent the violent demises for which they've received advanced notice. After the somewhat tepid clip they answered a few questions from the crowd that mostly centered around Shannyn's involvement with HBO's cult hit Mr. Show. Shannyn pretty much disappointed the crowd by admitting that she was cast in the show having no idea what it was. Even worse she said that while she was filming it, that she didn't understand it and furthermore had no idea it was comedy. No one bothered to ask Burns what happened to his career since the Brothers McMuffin. Actually someone asked if there was any chance that there would be a sequel to Confidence. Personally I'm a fan of Burns and will always hold out hope that he will find a role that will lift him up where he belongs.

White Out

One of the true highlights of the day was the panel that showed up for the film White Out. Based on the Eisner Award winning graphic novel by Greg Rucka and directed by Dominic Senna, White Out is the story of a U.S. Marshall (Beckinsale) who is investigating the first murder ever reported on the continent of Antarctica. With only three days to puzzle out the murder before winter sets in, which suspends all travel in and out and may leave her stranded at this God Forsaken outpost with the killer. After the teaser reel Senna and Beckinsale fielded questions from the awestruck crowd. I say awestruck because not only is Kate one of the most bewitchingly beautiful women in the world but she also happens to have one of the quickest wits and fearless senses of humor of anyone I've ever seen. She slayed. Matter-of-factly discussing her mother's dildo, announcing that she was Asian and admitting that she had slept with Senna four times. For his part Senna held his own and more or less played straight man to Beckinsale. Senna must have some sort of affliction, God forbid Parkinson's, because he had trouble disguising his constant quaking and quavering. The greatest tragedy in Hollywood today is that KB keeps taking these silly action flicks instead of doing smart comedy. At some point someone hollered who would win in fight between Bruce Willis and Mel Gibson to which she immediately replied "I would." Next time she's on Leno or Letterman make a point to check her out – she's hilarious.

Trick R' Treat

Wow. This shit is gonna scare the piss out people. Produced by Brian Singer and written and directed by Michael Dougherty Trick R' Treat was one of the most pleasant surprises at the Con. I saw the trailer twice and all I can say is that this puppy is going to squeeze some urine out some mofos. With the exception of 30 Days of Night it looks to be the best horror flick on the way. Look for it October 5th.

Watchmen

This one looks to be Warner's pride and joy. Based on Allan Moore's multi-award winning graphic novel, this one seems to be the project held in the highest regard by the Con-crowd. Director Zak Snyder was on hand to discuss the project and right away he was faced with questions regarding the irascible Allan Moore, Snyder was reserved. You could tell he was just as proud as hell about the project but quoting Moore he said that the famed comic writer opined only that "they didn't fuck it up too bad." He also let it be known that his version will be R Rated and include the Pirate Story, and will star Billy Crudup, Patrick Wison, Steven McHattie and Jackie O Haley. His most important point was that he had no intention of altering the story to make it more accessible to audiences, stating that he wanted people to come to Watchmen rather than the Watchmen coming to the people.

Adam was sorely disappointed that Warner's presentation didn't include any footage or info from the upcoming Batman prequel.

Fox's No Show

It was big news just prior to the Con that 20th Century Fox had pulled out at the last minute, so Comic-Con was forced to run their Trailer Park reel where Fox would have been.

Trailer Park

Here's a list and a brief synopsis of the trailers presented.

Waterhorse

A family fantasy about the origin of the Loch Ness Monster starring Emily Watson, Ben Chaplin and David Morrissey.

Mr. Woodcock

Sean William Scott and Billy Bob Thornton lock horns as stepfather and son a.l.a. School for Scoundrels.

Eastern Promises

The film follows the mysterious and ruthless Nikolai (Viggo Mortensen), who is tied to a London crime family. His secret is jarred when he crosses paths with Anna (Naomi Watts), an innocent midwife trying to right a wrong. Reunites Mortenson with Director David Cronenberg.

Resident Evil: Extinction

Survivors of the Raccoon City catastrophe travel across a Nevada desert, trying to reach Alaska. Alice (Milla Jovovich) joins the caravan and their fight against the evil Umbrella Corp.

Rush Hour 3

More hijinx and shenanigans courtesy of the team of Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker.

Bee Movie

Jerry Seinfeld's is a honey bee in this animated feature starring Renee Zelwegger as a human honey salesman that Seinfeld decides to sue. Sue Bee Honey.

Heartbreak Kid

Remake of the Charles Grodin, Cybil Sheppard classic starring Ben Stiller as a man who falls in love with another woman on his honeymoon.

Right At Your Door

Rory Cochrane and Mary McCormack in a horrific tale about a dirty bomb that explodes in Los Angeles, turning brother against brother and husband against wife in the ultimate tale of paranoia.

Dragon Wars

Based on the Korean legend starring Jason Behr, Amanda Brooks and Robert Forster. Unknown reptilian monsters return and devastate the planet. Starting with NYC.

Across The Universe

Jim Sturgess and Evan Rachel Wood and a host of celebrities star in this quasi-musical involving an England Dockworker who comes to America in search of his estranged father – set to a soundtrack of Beatle classics.

30 Days of Night

After an Alaskan town is plunged into darkness for a month, it is attacked by a bloodthirsty gang of vampires.

The Golden Compass

Chris Weitz directs this fantasy about an ancient talisman that plunges a young Lyra Belacqua into a parallel universe where she journeys to the far North to save her best friend and other kidnapped children from terrible experiments by a mysterious organization.

New Line Cinema

New Line started off their presentation by showing a juicy clip from Shoot ‘Em Up and then trotting out Clive Owen and writer /director Michael Davis. This presentation only varied from the one I discussed earlier in that they showed the drawing/featurette that Davis produced to get studios interested in his project. Again Owen matched Davis enthusiasm for the project and answered questions from the crowd.

Aside from this New Line only spun out featurettes from Be Kind Rewind, Rush Hour 3 and the Golden Compass.

Be Kind Rewind

Directed by the ingenius Michel Gondry this film features Jack Black as a video store clerk who accidentally erases every tape in the store by exposing them to a magnetic bar. In order to avoid being fired Black sets out to recreate each film in his own low budget way. At first everyone is nonplussed by this development until Blacks versions of the films begin to attract a cult following. When I first read about this film, I thought the premise sounded absurd, but after seeing the footage it makes sense and looks like it might be another classic for Black and Gondry.

300 Panel

300 had just as big a presence at this years Con as it did last year. To celebrate the DVD release there were numerous mobile billboards cruising the streets, as well as an enormous screen showing of the Directors cut at Petco (Padres baseball) stadium on Friday night. Sounded like a blast but we were off to see Superbad on this night. They also trotted our Frank Miller and Director Zak Snyder and Tom Wisdom to chat about the success of the film as well as projects that they had on the horizon. But mostly they just opened it up to the floor for questions.

One of the first was some guy who asked Zak Snyder if it wasn't distracting to work surrounded by all those gorgeous half naked men. Neither Snyder or myself was sure if this was just a lark or if the guy was seriously gay and was genuinely interested. In any case Snyder turned it around and admitted that yes it was almost impossible to get anything shot with all those hot man bodies everywhere. Naturally everyone was interested to find out from the horses mouth what Miller was working on next which of course is "Holy Terror Batman," "Spirit," and the sequel to Sin City. As for the Sin City part it wasn't easy to tell if he was serious about that or just yanking a lot of chains. He did mention that the look of Eisner's Spirit would be a lot like Sin City.

The most charged question came in the form of political baloney. Some guy had to bring up the tired crap about 300 being a veiled metaphor for our troops in Iraq. Since Iraq was once Persia and the Persians being the overwhelming force of bad guys in 300 enquiring minds want to know. Miller laughed this off, or as close as he ever comes to laughing and replied that politics is boring, so why would I want to write something that's boring? Nuff Said.

Next up was a truly inspiring panel celebrating the 25th anniversary of Blade Runner. Since it is my all time favorite Sci Fi film and literally everyone that was in the film as well as Ridley Scott I want to tackle this later after I've had some rest.